Husbands

The Bible has lots to say about lots of things ... some esoteric and some extremely practical. For instance, there are some very clear, very straightforward statements about marital life. Now, we all know the hateful, misogynistic command from Paul, "Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord" (Eph 5:22). I mean, come on, Paul! Get with it. Modern feminism has blown that away. It's so thoroughly wrong, that Bible-believing Christians thumb their noses at it. Oh, sure, maybe they give it lip service, but, in practice, wives don't make a practice of submitting to their husbands as to the Lord. If they do, they're considered weak or timid or abused. Peter had the temerity to repeat that clear opposition to modern feminism. "In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives" (1 Peter 3:1). (As an aside, "In the same way"? What way? "Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps" (1 Peter 2:20-25).) There it is again. Not unclear. Not vague. And we largely protest.

It's funny, though. The commands to husbands typically go uncontested.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her ... (Eph 5:25-32)

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7)

Why is that? It's because we're mostly not paying attention. "Husbands, love your wives" seems perfectly reasonable ... except it is "as Christ loved the Church," which is defined as ... giving self up. Hang on! That's not even normal. We don't do that. We always have to look out for #1. I actually had a Christian counselor tell me, "That's crazy." Maybe ... but it's biblical. Another one we often miss seems to be the second. I once found a book at Barnes and Noble titled, "What Men Know About Women." Spoiler alert: the book is blank. Because men understanding women seems impossible. And we're commanded to "live with our wives in an understanding way." With a threat ... "so that your prayers will not be hindered." Do we? Do husbands make it their daily practice to understand their wives ... all the time? A regular function? I don't think so. And "wives, submit" seems to grow less offensive because the commands to husbands become ... daunting.

Daunting or not, husbands, we have commands from God. Forget about His commands to wives; those are hers to obey or not. Ours are clear. Love your wife by surrendering your self. And live with her in an understanding way. Two huge commands. If we were diligent about obeying these, I think we'd have little time to criticize wives who don't submit. We would be giving them solid reasons to submit, because it's not hard to submit to someone who makes her his highest priority and lifelong project. And, of course, they're God's commands. That should be of critical importance to us.