Search me, O God

When I was young, I had a problem with ... self-image. Not self-esteem. Self-esteem is how one values oneself. We all value ourselves higher than we ought (despite our society's concern that we don't). Self-image is how one sees oneself. If it's accurate, it's good (whether or not it's favorable or unfavorable). If it's inaccurate, it's a problem. So, my parents offered their best approach to solve it. They ... made me memorize Scripture. The text they gave me to memorize was ... Psalm 139.

The psalm is a reflection on God's Omniscience and His Omnipresence. It points to the fact that each of us is uniquely and intimately created by God. It ends with the almost mandatory response:

Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! (Psa 139:23-24)

It's difficult to read through the psalm without coming away ... overwhelmed. He knows me (Psa 139:1). Doesn't everyone want to be known? He knows me. He's with me (Psa 139:2-12). I'm never, never, never alone. He hears me (Psa 139:4) ... before I speak! He protects me (Psa 139:5). He ... made ... me (Psa 139:13-16). Not like a factory part. He "knitted me together in my mother's womb" (Psa 139:13). He saw my unformed substance (Psa 139:16) (one of the most powerful proofs that a fetus is a human). He wrote out my every day before there was one (Psa 139:16). He thinks of me (Psa 139:17). Imagine that! The God of the universe thinks of me! He doesn't need to. He doesn't have to. But ... He does!

Most of us suffer at times from a feeling of inadequacy, of being ... less than perfect. Psalm 139 says "I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well" (Psa 139:14). When we question our design, our build, our looks, our abilities, we question God's character. And that's a bad thing. Perhaps we need this reminder that we aren't junk, we aren't useless, we aren't an accident. We are known, accompanied by, made, seen, designed, and thought of by God. I hope that's enough for you. When it's not, we need to ask God to search us and correct our hearts (Psa 139:23-24).