One of those crazy things Scripture offers is the command to "submit to one another" (Eph 5:21). Now, we're Americans. We submit to no one. "My body, my choice" is not just a woman thing. We all believe that. So the command to submit is fiercely denied, even by Christians. Laid alongside the reported "50% divorce rate" that we believe is true, it's heartbreaking. You see, God wasn't foolish when He passed that along to Paul to write. God was a genius.
The opening statement of the idea is to be "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ" (Eph 5:21). Note the singular motivation: "reverence for Christ." "No!" so many Christians say. That's especially at the next verse, Paul's first example. "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord" (Eph 5:22). "Absolutely not!" unbelievers and believers alike declare. It's short-sighted, actually. We believe that we are autonomous, that our welfare and happiness is ours to obtain, and we should submit to no one. The text tells us to submit to one another out of reverence to Christ, and wives to submit to husbands as to the Lord. "Set aside your autonomy and allow God to work." Fewer complain about the next example. "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish" (Eph 5:25-27). That's because they don't see the submission in it. Look at it; it's mind-boggling. "Husbands, love your wives." "Yeah, so what? That's not submission." It is when you see how husbands are to love their wives. "As Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." In submission terms, husbands are required to give self up. It's mind-boggling for Paul. He says, "This mystery is profound" (Eph 5:32), but it's an image of Christ and the church.
Why do I say God is a genius in this? If you have two people submitting to one another in this fashion, a marriage cannot fail. It is, first, based on submission to Christ, reverence for Christ. Second, the reason for every divorce is that one or both spouses weren't getting what they felt they needed, but a marriage built on submitting to each other sets self aside. Divorce is impossible if spouses are mutually submitting in this way, giving self and expecting God to supply. See? God is pretty wily. But, of course, having the mind of Christ (Php 2:5-8) doesn't come naturally. It is necessary since we are called to die with Christ, but it isn't natural. It's just right.
2 comments:
Excellent summation. It’s the classic “I love you.” “I love you more.” “No, I love you more.” Mutual submission essentially assures that each spouse will “out-love” the other (if that’s possible). You are right: God’s plan is foolproof, and this mindset refutes the human heart, which cries, “Me first!” and “Look out for #1.”
There is a difficult tension for husbands in this. We are to be the head of the house, but also submit in that headship to her needs. Too often today, because the curse from Genesis seems stronger than ever, that submission to her needs has simply become submission to her, abdicating our duty as the head. And that should not be.
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