Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Prov 22:6)The verse has a couple of ... hiccups, little difficulties to consider. First, is this a firm promise from God? No, absolutely not. To think that is a failure to understand the nature of a proverb. Proverbs are truisms, generally true. Not all children who go astray do so because their parents failed to bring them up as they should, and not all children who are properly brought up remain that way. Second, there is a dispute about the translation of "should." The word, in fact, doesn't occur in the text. The Hebrew is literally translated, "Initiate the child at the mouth of his path." We can draw "mouth" out to mean "beginning" or "opening." So it can read, "Train a child in his way." Some understand that to mean we should teach them in ways that suit them. Others argue that it is not "should," but "would" -- his natural course. If you let a child go the way he naturally will go, he won't depart from it when he's old ... and that's bad. So there is that. But let's go with the more traditional "should." Understanding that this is an instruction and not a promise, we need to proceed to do it ... and ask, "What is the way he should go?" Because it seems to me we rarely ask that question when looking at this text.
The question isn't really that hard. Scripture offers two ways: the way of wisdom and life, and the way of folly and death. There you go. Clear as day. You're welcome. Enjoy your parenting.
Of course, that's not sufficient, is it? And certainly the Bible offers more insight than that. Solomon spent several chapters in specific training for his son. The first nine chapters of Proverbs revolve around a father (Solomon) instructing his son about important matters in life. He begins with "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction." (Prov 1:7). A good and necessary start. From there he will tackle the avoidance of sin (Prov 1:10), the importance of wisdom (Prov 1:20-2:22) (actually, over and over), trusting God (Prov 3:5), avoiding sexual sin (Prov 5:1-12), sundry practical points (Prov 6), again the avoiding of sexual sin (Prov 6:20-7:27) (one might be tempted to think that Solomon found this a particularly besetting sin), the blessings of wisdom (Prov 8), and the dangers of folly (Prov 9:13-18). A good framework. There is a repeated effort to draw sharp lines between the consequences of sin versus the value of godliness (e.g., Prov 11:5; 14:2; 16:7; 22:5). But the prevailing wind here, the primary aim, is wisdom.
If a parent intends to love their child and follow the command -- train up a child in the way he should go -- the primary thrust must be wisdom. That, of course, has its root in one place. "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight." (Prov 9:10; Prov 1:7; Job 28:28; Psa 111:10). Viewing God with genuine fear which includes reverence and awe (which includes dread) is the starting point of biblical wisdom. Where does that begin? For us humans, it begins with God -- His revelation (Psa 19:1-6), His explanation (Rom 1:19-20), His Word (Psa 19:7-14).
Parents, if there is one thing you must do to bring up your children in the way they should go, it is to fully and completely submerge them in God's Word. It must be read, memorized, taught, explained, lived (Deut 6:4-9). It should be the air they breathe, the food they eat, the clothing they wear, their nourishment and exercise. Of course, if you recognize that, then you will also see that you will need to do the same. In order to teach them, you will have to show them. But if a parent loves their child, these kinds of things are the things they do out of love to provide the best for their children.
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