On Father's Day Sean Williams trotted out his organization called "The Dad Gang." Mostly white neighbors in his Long Island neighborhood had complimented him for spending so much time with his kids, and it bothered him because "according to the CDC black fathers bathe, dress or diaper the kids they live with on a daily basis more than any other group."
Personally, I don't get the insult. I think any and every father that takes care of his kids should be complimented. But Williams wanted to declare that "the stereotype is just not true." The stereotype was that black fathers were not as involved with the kids in their homes as other fathers. I guess I wasn't aware of that stereotype. I am aware of the stereotype that black fathers are more absent than other races, but that's not a prejudice; that's a statistic. In the 2013 CDC report cited by Williams, the document claimed that black fathers were more active, but more absent. That is, the fathers that were present were more connected to their children than others, but on the whole black fathers were more likely to leave.
The numbers are really devastating, and I'm not talking about "black fathers" here; I'm talking about American fathers. In 2014 23.6% of U.S. children lived in father-absent homes. According to a 2012 Census.gov report, black children (55%) and Hispanic children (31%) were more likely to live with one parent than non-Hispanic white children (21%) or Asian children (13%). Again, I'm not talking about black fathers here; it is just as devastating that more than one in five "non-Hispanic white children" live in homes without two parents as it is that more than half black children do.
The effects of fatherlessness are well documented. Increased poverty and obesity, higher infant mortality, higher teen pregnancy, greater suicide rates, increased behavioral problems and criminal tendencies, decreased educational success, greater emotional upheaval ... the list just goes on and on. Insofar as black culture embraces black fathers leaving their children, this is a black problem, but I don't think this is a black problem. I think it's a human problem in general and, more specifically, an American problem. I think it's a direct result of American immorality. Cheapening marriage, cheapening sex, discounting morality and commitment and selflessness and sacrifice, elevating personal pleasure and instant gratification, we've made this monster ourselves. You can't point at any give race for that. We built this city on 1960's style "If it feels good, do it" so well that even the "harm defines morality" crowd has missed it entirely.
To be more specific, however, I think that our American efforts to jettison biblical morality in favor of self is not merely an American thing. We had help. We had a mentor, a backer. Scripture speaks of two fathers. Jesus said, "If God were your Father, you would love Me" (John 8:42), but we don't. Instead, "You are of your father, the devil." (John 8:44) That father aims to displace the Father. That father aims to discredit the Father. I can't tell you how many times I've talked to people about God as Father only to have them retort something to the effect of "My father was lousy; why would I want yours?" I believe that the devastating problem of fatherlessness in America and around the world is a direct product of sin, part of a conspiracy from the father of lies to convince us that we can't trust our fathers and we certainly can't trust the Father. Isn't it odd, then, that even people from the worst experiences in fathers can evaluate fathers based on an innate sense of what a father should be? We know intrinsically that a father should be present, loving, caring, involved, protecting, encouraging, empowering -- all the traits that so many fathers don't have and we bemoan it -- because God has placed it in our hearts (Eccl 3:11; Psa 19:1; Rom 1:19-20).
Humans need fathers. We were designed for a two-parent, "two-become-one" household. We were made to have a mother married to a father at home raising children together, both contributing their own special components to make well-rounded offspring in the image of God. More importantly, we were built for a relationship with the Father obtained only by faith in the Son. The fact that our world largely contradicts these realities simply demonstrates that our world is blinded by the god of this world (2 Cor 4:4). That's not a "black problem;" it's a sinful human problem. And we who know the Father have work to do.
1 comment:
Wow. Great message. Too bad some want to criticize it with rationalizing and fact-free race-hustling. Sad. But even today, as was true before the Civil Rights movement, two parent black families produce more productive and law-abiding offspring, which as you say, is true of absolutely everyone regardless of race.
Post a Comment