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Saturday, March 28, 2020

News Weakly - 3/28/20

From the Sublime to ... Not
In an interesting twist to the good, Ohio's attorney general has demanded that abortions stop during this pandemic, calling them "non-essential and elective." So, at least at the moment in Ohio, lives are being saved by this crisis.

At the other end of the spectrum, two New Jersey homeowners were arrested for hosting large gatherings including a wedding at their home. (That one said "a couple dozen people" were there.) The local residents called police. Now this is serious. Throughout New Jersey police have been acting proactively to shut down reported possible events at halls and ballrooms and such. From "Social distancing is highly recommended" to "You're going to jail for failing to do it." Maybe it's necessary, but you can't quite call it "the land of the free" or "the home of the brave."

The New Terrorism
First New Jersey was arresting people for having too many people in one place. Now they have a terrorst running loose coughing on store employees. In a Pennsylvania supermarket a woman thought it would be cool to cough on food and they had to destroy $35,000 worth to protect the public. What's wrong with these people??

Not COVID-19 News
Billionaire and recent competitor-for-the-presidency Michael Bloomberg, man of the people, a guy who cares about the little guy, is being sued by his aides for fraud in failing to pay their promised wages. He had guaranteed wages through November regardless of his success in the nominee race but laid them off without pay. Instead, he donated $18 million to the Democratic National Committee ... like a good socialist would. "Here's your pay. I'm going take your pay and donate it to the DNC. Thank you for giving to the cause."

In other "not COVID-19" news, Alex Salmond was acquitted of all charges in his sexual assault trial. Salmond was a former first minister of Scotland facing 12 charges of attempted rape, sexual assault, and indecent assault. A jury of eight women and five men found him not guilty. We, of course, decry this injustice. He is a man, is he not? Isn't he, therefore, guilty of all they claim simply by virtue of his gender? (And how did 8 women acquit him? That doesn't seem natural.) The outrage.

Unclear on the Concept
There are a lot of thoughts on fighting this virus, from social distancing to anti-malaria medication, but I think we've finally got a good plan: Buy more guns. Okay, sure, they're not fighting the disease with them, but ... who or what are they fighting? Just how bad can the media panic glut make it? And when does the fear-mongering media get tagged as a terrorist organization on their own? Because they're certainly spreading fear of this thing faster than the actual virus can travel.

So That's What it Takes
What does it take to make our current government act? Apparently it takes a pandemic. The Senate unanimously passed their $2 trillion plan to provide coronavirus relief. That's nearly 100 lawmakers (the vote was actually 96-0) all agreeing. Didn't even know that was possible. And after just 3 hours of debate the House passed it on Friday. Now the president has signed the stimulus. All in a week. I don't expect those kinds of results again, but it was momentarily fun to see. Now we'll see if we can stimulate the economy by pushing our national debt well past our GDP.

Oh, the Irony
People have long been protesting that our country is too limiting in letting people into the U.S. It's unfair. It's unkind. We're just bullies. Especially Trump. Bully! So does anyone else see the irony when Mexican protestors block Americans from coming into Mexico because they're concerned about the coronavirus? Will Mexico admit that limiting access is a good thing and the U.S. can do it, too? Or will the U.S. take the blame for controlling its borders but Mexico won't? Sure, it's all fun and games until someone gets COVID-19.

From the Bee
They had some good stories in the Babylon Bee this last couple of weeks. Lots of ammunition, I guess. I particularly liked the headline, "Pants Sales Plummet As Everyone Working From Home." I guess I laughed because, like so many others, I'm working from home. And the one that just came out -- "Toilet Paper Crisis Solved As Government Prints Trillions Of Fresh, Soft Dollar Bills." Tell me again this is humor and not real, right?

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