Submit

I need to preface this by saying that I didn't plan this. I'm reading Ephesians. It just came up. I'm sorry.

It's an evil word. "Submit." No one in American culture wants to hear it. We submit to no one. You know, "Don't tread on me." So ingrained is this independent spirit that when the Bible calls up the word, Christians choke on it.

²¹... submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. ²² Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. ²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, ²⁶ that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ²⁷ so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. ²⁸ In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, ³⁰ because we are members of his body. ³¹ "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." ³² This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. ³³ However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Eph 5:21-33).

You probably skimmed that paragraph. You know what it says. Historically, the standard understanding of the passage has been simple. Wives submit to husbands; husbands love wives. No problem; no question. Today, it's "No way." Today they assure me, "It's a product of a patriarchal society and no longer the culture today." I'm not talking skeptics here; I'm talking Christians. I'm talking about Bible-believing Christians. "Yes, I believe the Bible and want to follow everything it says" followed by "but not this one." The standard reason? "It says 'submit to one another.'" So they prefer "mutual submission" by which they mean a 50-50 marriage where both husband and wife submit to each other and each has equal authority and responsibility. Now, finding that in Scripture might be difficult, but that's the position.

Consider, for a moment, the practical possibilities of this position. Does it make sense? The military has a chain of command because they do not want each soldier evaluating the situation and determining what course of action to take. They need a coordinator, a person in charge who will determine that this is the best course of action and you will carry it out without question. Of course, marriage is not the military, but in what world does a two-headed beast make an efficient decision system? "Well," they tell me, "she's better at keeping the books so she does that and I'm better at fixing things around the house so I do that and we work that way." Fine. Until she wants to tell you how to fix the house or you have ideas that differ from hers on keeping the books. If we're talking about two coequal heads, who decides when the two disagree? If we're talking about two genuinely coequal heads, that situation arrives by definition at an impasse. You see, that version of "mutual submission" doesn't make sense. But I'm just talking practicality here. What is really important is what does God's Word say?

Paul doesn't simply say, "Wives submit to your husbands." He explains. He nuances. He fills out the notion. He says they should submit "as to the Lord." He draws a simple parallel. "As the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands." Who in their right mind would suggest that this is a "mutual submission" of the kind so often touted? In what sense does the Christ who said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me" (Matt 28:18) submit in some mutual fashion to the church? In the same way that the church submits to Christ, wives, submit to your husbands. That way. And, please note. It says "in everything." Which would exclude ... nothing. Even in keeping the books. Or whatever other fashion you wish to think of it.

Given the unequivocal textual parallel, "as the church submits to Christ", if you're one of those who still stand on some "mutual submission" where husband and wife are coequals in authority, I have to be concerned that you and I are not viewing the same Christ. The Christ I know is not under that sort of "mutual submission" to the church. If He is, it's not the Christ I know.

"But," you tell me, "it says that we should be 'submitting to one another.' What about that?" And I would concur with you. There is a sense of mutual submission clearly presented here. Paul goes on to tell husbands--command husbands--to love their wives. Oh, not simply love them (have warm feelings for them, be nice guys, look out for their comfort ... today's pulpy love), but to love them "as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." This is no small love, guys. This is sacrificial, even suicidal love. It doesn't matter if she loves you back. It doesn't matter if she is a good or bad wife. It doesn't matter how she treats you. Christ gave Himself up for a Bride that denied she even knew Him. When the chips were down, they were out of there. And He loved her enough to die for her. Do you know what that is? That's submission. Oh, not submission of authority. It's submission of self. Much harder. Much bigger. Much more important than mere authority.

I think it is abundantly clear from both a practical view and from the text that it is not possible to align "we both submit to each other's authority" as the meaning behind this text. I think it cannot be avoided that wives are commanded to submit in everything to the authority of their husbands. And it is equally clear that husbands are required to submit their pride, their selfishness, their self-interest, their own well-being in order to love their wives. And then we circle around to the first thought--"submit". It's not a pleasant thought, at least not to sinful humans. It's not something we like. I doubt the first response is to embrace this notion with joy. But neither is it something we can avoid. If we love Christ (who, by the way, is the point of both of these forms of submission), submitting is something that every Christian wife and every Christian husband must do. And, since it is commanded, I would have to guess it would be a good thing. So, what are you going to do?