Rise Up and Bless

In Paul's first epistle to the church at Corinth he has some pretty harsh things to say. The most obvious, I'd think, is that stuff in chapter 5 where he takes them to task for the sin in their midst that they failed to address. I mean, it doesn't get much more pointed than to turn someone over to Satan for the destruction of their flesh. Ouch!

Paul indicates later that he regretted that.

For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it--though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. (2 Cor 7:8-9)

Get that? "I made you grieve with my letter," he says, and "I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you." But Paul did not ultimately regret it. He said right there, "I do not regret it." Why? "You were grieved into repenting." And that's the ultimate "good grief" (apologies to Charlie Brown).

I think many (most?) of us today don't get this idea. Paul said some pretty harsh things. He said them boldly and straightforward. He even felt bad about saying them, but it didn't stop him from saying them. Why did he say them? Because he cared. Many (most?) today would recommend the opposite. "Don't say things that will upset them," they'll urge you. "Go along to get along." Maybe they're not so wishy-washy. Maybe they're just practical. "What you want to say may be true, but they won't listen, so don't bother." So we are supposed to be more tolerant, less judgmental, certainly keep this stuff to yourself. The one side will even recommend you change your thinking, but as a minimum you should keep quiet. Do you think it's wise to irritate your kids by telling them when they're wrong? Do you think you'll be able to influence your loved ones when you've alienated them with your views of sin? No, no ... better to just be quiet.

Paul would say otherwise. Paul would say that it may be painful for you to speak harsh truths, but we must always be "speaking the truth in love" (Eph 4:15). That's not "in a warm feeling kind of way", but "motivated by a deep concern for the best of others." The aim is not to get people to like you, but to urge them to repentance. It is not loving to remain silent while they walk into a pit.

In Proverbs we read the famous "excellent wife" passage (Prov 31:10-31). In it we read, "Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her." (Prov 31:28). Will they do that if she has lied to them? Will our children thank us for turning a blind eye to the dangers they endure because of their sin? Will our spouses praise us because we keep silent when they choose to violate God's Word? Paul says, "Godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret" (2 Cor 7:10). Can we expect repentance when we've offered no godly grief? Now, I don't believe that calling sin sin will necessarily result in repentance, nor do I believe that your children will immediately rise up and call you blessed when you tell them the truth about their sin. Maybe not even in this life. But so many parents aim to get along with their children over the pain and difficulty of standing for the truth for the benefit of their children. In the end, doing this will not result in a blessing, but a curse.

I don't believe that our children will rise up and bless us if we fail to speak the hard truths. I don't believe our husbands or wives will praise us for keeping silent when we could have warned them. I understand that it is difficult, even painful--painful for us--to express what appears to be harsh realities, but if we care--if we love--can we do otherwise? I don't think so.