Forgiveness

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses (Matt 6:14-15).

There are a lot of famous passages in Scripture. A lot of people know John 3:16. More popular, likely, is Matt 7:1 -- "Judge not" ... you know. And who doesn't know the famous "Lord's Prayer"? "Our Father who art in heaven ...", you know. In fact, most of us know it in King James English. And while some of us lean toward "trespasses" and others lean toward "debts", we've pretty much got the same thing going there. It's almost universal. The passage above, however, is not one of those well-known ones. Oddly enough, it begins with "for" because it is an explanation of one of those famous passages. Indeed, it is Jesus's postscript on the Lord's Prayer. Why do we pray, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us"? This is Jesus's answer to the unspoken question. "If you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Ouch! Apparently, then, forgiveness is a big deal. A really big deal. On the other hand, I think the concept of forgiveness can be one of the most difficult ones for us to even grasp.

What is forgiveness? How does it work? Exactly what are we supposed to do? You see, what we've been told is "forgive and forget". Especially Christians. "You know, God forgives and forgets, so we should, too." I don't believe, in fact, that the statement is true as we typically mean it, and I wrote about it recently. "Forget" in the human "loss of memory" sense is not what God does. But ... should we? I think, given the importance that Jesus placed on forgiveness, some attention ought to be paid as to what it is and what we should be doing.

Most people define forgiveness almost in a circular fashion, like the dictionary does. "Forgiveness is the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven." Ummm, thanks. Now give me something that works. It's almost humorous, except that I think it's very much how many of us think. "It's just ... well ... forgiving someone." Yes, but what does that mean? "Okay, okay, don't get so touchy. How is this? It means to grant pardon, to cease to feel resentment for, something like that." See? That's what I'm saying. You see, "grant pardon" means "forgive", and we're back in a circle. What does that mean?

Well, let's see if we can figure it out. Forgiveness, it would appear, is a conscious choice. It's not a feeling or emotion. It affects them, but if we are commanded to forgive, it must be something we can choose to do. Conscious choice. We are repeatedly told to forgive as the Lord has forgiven you. A command that we must be able to obey. So apparently the "cease to feel resentment for" descriptive is a result of forgiveness, not a definition.

One definition offered for "forgiveness" includes this idea: "to give up all claim on account of". Perhaps now we're getting somewhere. There is a necessary prerequisite to "forgiveness" that is often overlooked. The requirement is that a claim must exist. There must be a violation, a theft, a loss, a debt. (You know, "... as we forgive our debtors.") For anyone to forgive there must first be something owed. As such the very popular idea of forgiveness being a sort of "Ah, forget it, it was nothing" is not forgiveness. There has to be something before it can be forgiven. If it was nothing, forgiveness is not required and cannot take place. In fact, we know this, don't we? I mean, if we do not forgive, what do we do? We "get even". You see, forgiveness requires some sort of "unevenness" that must be leveled.

So, here's where we are so far. Forgiveness is mandatory. Without it you do not get forgiven. Second, forgiveness is commanded and, therefore, it is something we choose to do. The emotions involved, such as no longer bearing resentment, are the results of forgiveness, not the definition. Third, forgiveness is not possible if a debt is not owed. Forgiveness is a possible response to something owed.

Now here is where it gets interesting. That's because a misunderstanding of forgiveness will make it not merely difficult, but ludicrous. You've seen this before. Someone does something horrible to someone. I mean, horrible. A rape or a murder or some other terrible thing. On one hand, kindly outsiders might suggest that the victim "forgive", but the world at large would protest such a thing as wrong. Why? Because a debt is owed and just setting aside such a debt would be wrong. In fact, in cases like these -- cases of huge debt -- very few think that forgiveness is the right thing to do. Beyond that, if a victim of such a wrong declares that he or she has forgiven the debtor, many think the victim is a nut. We understand that a debt owed requires payment. We get that. Dismissing the payment is not justice. And without justice the entire concept of right and wrong will collapse.

And, yet, we are commanded to forgive. So how does that work? How do we obey and "give up a claim" while retaining justice? I would suggest that there is a two-fold answer to this. If we are to retain justice while forgiving, there are two aspects to consider. First, we are commanded not to "get even". Why? "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.'" (Rom 12:19). Getting even, then, is God's task, not ours. Or to put it another way, for me to "get even" over what someone owes me would pale in comparison to what God would do. I needn't bother. The author of Hebrews says, "For we know Him who said, 'Vengeance is mine; I will repay.' And again, "The Lord will judge His people.'" (Heb 10:30). Thus, we can "let it go" without surrendering justice because God will make it right.

But in purely human terms, there must be something else going on. And I think we've already seen what it is, even if we haven't yet apprehended it. Remember, we're talking here about a genuine debt. Something is owed. Forgiving a debt doesn't make the debt go away. When you seek "debt forgiveness" in this world, it doesn't mean that the amount owed simply ceases to exist. What happens to that debt? It doesn't vanish; it gets paid in full. In the case of repayment, the debtor pays it in full. In the case of forgiveness, the creditor pays it in full. But in all cases the debt gets paid.

When we forgive, then, we say, "Yes, you owe me, but I'll pay for this one." That is forgiveness. A forgiven debt doesn't vanish. It is paid. When Jesus died on the cross, His last words were the words of debt payment: "It is finished." It was "tetelestai", an accounting term meaning "paid in full". Jesus paid it all. We are commanded to forgive as we are forgiven. We are forgiven by God's Son paying the very real debt. The debt wasn't simply eliminated; it was tetelestai" -- "paid in full". We are to pay the debt ourselves for what others owe us and rely on God to ultimately make it right. That is forgiveness. Feeling better about it is just the response to the proper process. And genuine forgiveness does not nullify genuine justice. Forgiveness mandates full payment.