I know this woman who is married to ... I have to say it ... a louse. He's not a good husband. He's rude to her and unkind and uncaring. Oh, he's not hitting her or anything, but it's just unpleasant to watch. Much of the time when I think about this guy I want to figure out how to straighten him out, to correct him, to get him to see the error of his ways, to treat his wife with honor and love. I think these things are important and I won't likely stop thinking that way. But the other day a different thought struck me.
It was almost unrelated, but not. You see, this woman whose husband is ... shall we say ... not the best husband on the planet is ... happy. She is contented. I hear him say things that would make a grown woman cry and she doesn't flinch. Ask her aside from him if she's happily married and she'll tell you "Yes!" and be shocked at the question. It's not that she's unaware of his errors. It's that she isn't relying on him to be happy.
This woman has a completely bizarre perspective on life. Unlike most of us normal, wise folks, she thinks that joy is not dependent on pleasant circumstances. While every woman I know would tell this wife, "Run, don't walk to your nearest lawyer and start divorce proceedings," she adorns herself with a gentle and quiet spirit, submits to him even though he does not obey the Word, and puts her trust in God. Crazy, isn't it? It turns out that she has a secret -- a secret of contentment. And, it turns out, she has a secret stash of strength to go with it. You see, as it turns out, for her, the joy of the Lord is her strength.
You and I have been told a lie. And, for the most part, we've bought it. We've been told that if we want to be happy in this life, we must pursue pleasant circumstances. If we want to be fulfilled, then we must demand that people treat us with respect. If we want to have joy, it requires comfortable lives. We've been lied to. As it turns out, where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. If your treasure is in comfort and respect from others and pleasant circumstances, then you, too, will likely find joy in this life hard to come by. On the other hand, if your treasure is the surpassing value of knowing Jesus, well, then, I suspect you'll find that the joy of the Lord is strength, that you can have true contentment apart from pleasant living, that there is a peace that passes understanding. Of course, you can continue to pursue all that through common means, but I have to ask. How's that working for you so far?
1 comment:
Actually, I have long believed happiness is a matter of choice. This seems weird to those who have always allowed circumstances to dictate their happiness, but it is indeed a matter of choice. Thinking of the benefits of faith in Christ only justifies the choice even more. It certainly provides the best reason for the choice.
Just the same, it wouldn't hurt to take this dude aside and tell him how contemptible his behavior is. If enough men do this, it should have some affect. In fact, get as many men who see him as you do together at the same time. Just because the woman remains joyful, doesn't mean no action should be taken. Because she remains joyful, it means she deserves better. Just my two cents.
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