Thou shalt have no gods. Being "spiritual" is okay. A general belief in the existence of God is okay. And a general inclusion of all "gods" is just fine. But none of this "One True God" thing.
Thou shalt not have anything but images. The only true source of truth is science, and anyone who predicates their worldview on the Divine is wrong at best and evil at worst.
Thou shalt not bow down to your God. Humans are the most important beings in existence. All values follow. You may believe in this "God" of yours, but He has to submit to human standards and measurements.
Remember to party. Personal pleasure is the ultimate value. The worst thing you can be is boring.
Honor yourself. No one is more important than you are, and thinking of yourself first is the "greatest love of all".
Thou shalt not murder ... unless, of course, that murder takes place as a result of "a woman's choice", in which case it's a marvelous thing.
Thou shalt not commit adultery. Okay, only kidding on that one. It violates the "Personal pleasure as ultimate" rule.
Thou shalt not steal. Only talking here in mass quantities. There is great value if you can, for instance, steal from the government by cheating on your taxes. It's perfectly acceptable to steal time (and small office supplies) from your employer. We're just talking here about ... my stuff. Thou shalt not steal my stuff.
Thou shalt not lie if it isn't in your own best interest.
Thou shalt not condemn your neighbor or your neighbor's wife or his male servant or most anyone at all. That's our job.
Above all else, it is certainly evil to be sure. All of these things are pretty sure, but maybe not. What we require of you is that you do not claim to be confident of your beliefs to the exclusion of other beliefs. That kind of certainty is wrong ... and we will exclude your beliefs for having that belief.
4 comments:
Stan, this is very good. (And I'm sure about that!) How true that these are the new commandments.
Sad but true.
I noticed you conveniently mistranslated lo tirtzack.
What's the toll in Iraq now?
Anyway, I'm guessing that a certain blogger here is not an accredited seminarian.
Really odd ... I don't see a single translation anywhere in that post. What I see is a (somewhat sarcastic) rewriting of the original commandments to reflect the world's view of what's right and wrong today. If you thought that by "Thou shalt not murder" I meant a genuine translation of Scripture, you misunderstood the post. And if you understood me to be claiming to be an accredited seminarian, you were confused.
On the other hand, credible sources easily as good as any seminarian might be tell me that Lo Tirtzach actually translates to "murder", not mere "killing". (You have a serious problem if it means killing in any form because God does it.) So ... what's your point?
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