Train Up Your Child

Last year I asked the question about whether or not a father's sins are passed on to his offspring. It seemed like the suggestion of Exodus 20:5-6. It also seems like a natural assumption. Whatever the struggles the parents have, the kids seem to have similarities when they grow up. It just seems to be a given. Alcoholic fathers often produce alcoholic-prone children. Fathers that abuse their children often have children that grow up to abuse their children. And so on. The question, of course, is "nature or nurture?", but regardless of the answer, it seems obvious that it happens.

Setting aside the cause, then, I have to wonder out loud if you fathers out there with children at home are considering how you are going to handle this obvious factor? You see, none of us -- not one -- is without sin. We all suffer from "weak links". We may have varying temptations, but we all have temptations. I may not, for instance, suffer from the urge to drink alcohol or beat my children, but I have other sins that I have to fight off. And if you, dear reader, are saying, "Oh, good, this one doesn't pertain to me", remember, "If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us" (1 John 1:8). So are you considering how you're going to handle the fact that your besetting sins are likely passed on to your children?

It's an important question -- nay, absolutely vital. Are you working on the solution? Or are you giving in to the temptation? When you find the same tendency in your child, will you deny it is yours as well and simply correct them? Or will you warn them because it is yours? Will your children know what your temptations are and what your solutions are, or will you try to present yourself as some sort of "perfect parent", a father without problems?

I understand the urge to shield our children from our failures, but I question the wisdom. Imagine, instead, if you could tell your child, "I did what you are doing and it cost me this. I faced that problem this way." Imagine if you could tell your children, "Don't do that" and when they say, "But you did" you can reply, "That's exactly why I'm warning you away from it." Imagine if you could be planning now to help your children later with the temptations you already know they will face. Oh, wait, that need not be imagination. It should be fact ...