Perspective

Perspective. The word refers (among other things) to one's mental view. It is one's subjective evaluation of what one sees. Many times we tend to discount or even ignore perspective. Other times it is the only important thing. Some people are so intent on "absolute truth" that how another sees something is irrelevant. Other people are so sure that there is no "absolute truth" that how someone sees something is the only relevant thing. In both cases, how the other person sees things is likely not really relevant. You see that quite obviously in the hard-nosed fact-based person, but it's equally there with the relativist when someone suggests, "But, there really is absolute truth." That perspective doesn't count.

Ignoring the perspectives of others is a real problem. Let me give you an example we can all understand. A kind, loving husband wants to get his wife a nice gift for their anniversary. He recalls the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." What would he like? Well, he needs new tools and something quite practical like new tools would say "I love you" to him. And she needs a new vacuum. So he goes out, with the most magnanimous heart he can muster and buys her a top-of-the-line vacuum cleaner. Of course, we all know the result of his fine, well-considered, loving gesture. He's sleeping outside in the doghouse with the top-of-the-line vacuum cleaner wrapped around his head. You see, he only took into account his perspective. He didn't take into account her perspective. And while the Golden Rule was a good place to start, he asked the wrong question. The question wasn't "What would say 'I love you' to me?" but "What would say 'I love you' to her?" Perspective can be important. Indeed, perspective is, at times, the most important factor in human interaction.

You see, in human interaction, perspective is a matter of higher importance than I think most of us consider. A husband tells his wife, "Honey, you're beautiful" because from his perspective she is. But if that's not her perspective, it is irrelevant and he will need to do more than tell her. Consider this scenario. He thinks she's beautiful. She thinks she's fat. She says, "I'd like to join a fitness club." What does he do? He's thinking, "Fitness club?? Why? You're already beautiful. Why would we want to spend money on that when you're already beautiful???" But she's thinking, "Yeah, you're blind. I know I'm fat and ugly. If you really care about me, you'll let me join a fitness club so I can be closer to what you think you see." Perspective, you see, is important.

The difficulty, of course, is that the perspectives of others is hard to come by. It takes time and effort. You have to get to know the other person. You have to ask questions. You have to be willing to set aside your own perspective and consider theirs before you can take theirs into account. It takes work. And, frankly, "work" is a four-letter word to everyone and not an acceptable word to too many of us. It's just not worth the effort.

We would do well to consider others' perspectives. When we communicate, we should consider, "What are my words actually saying to them?" When we interact, we should consider, "How does my interaction come across to them?" We must ask the hard questions. "How do they think, see, feel?" Without that very important factor, we cannot effectively communicate with others. If a person has encountered only hostility and you appear hostile to them, they will be at war with you before you finish your sentence, even if you never intended hostility. On the flip side, if the other person is inclined to be on your side, they might accept arguments from you that are wrong (putting them in the embarrassing position of defending faulty arguments) without considering them. In our interactions with others, we must take their perspectives into account if we are to be effective communicators, proper stewards of the truth.

Let me put it another way that might be more effective if you are of the perspective that the Bible is the Word of God. Among other things, love is not self-absorbed. It "seeks not its own" (1 Cor. 13:5). If this is true, then when I proceed without considering the perspective of those to whom we are speaking, "I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal" (1 Cor. 13:1). Love takes into account the other person. Maybe we should start there more often than we currently do.