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Saturday, December 16, 2006

PC Merry Christmas

I wanted to say, "Merry Christmas", but we all know that's offensive, so here's my attempt at offending no one.

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At this time of the start of winter in which we gather lights and gifts and wish each other well, I wish to convey to you my wish that you have a happy day noted on the standard calendar as "December 25th" and that your new year that follows would be good.

Note that "happy" in the above wish is not to be construed as a promise or even narrowly defined as what I would consider "happy". It may include a positive outlook on anything at all or even a non-negative view on something. It may include the religion of your choice or it may include no religion at all. Perhaps you will receive gifts from friends and family or perhaps you have a non-standard definition of "friend" and "family". Indeed, "happy" should not be construed to mean anything at all, but only what you intend it to mean. If this intended meaning is not legal, I have the right to withdraw any and all connection to this wish.

Note that "good" is subject to similar conditions. Perhaps it is reduced stress or socially productive or improved income. "Good" is not intended to be defined in merely the terms that I understand "good", but may be whatever "good" you wish it to be. Again, if this intended meaning is not legal, I have the right to withdraw any and all connection to such a wish.

Should any of this wish be considered offensive or pejorative, I retain the right to cancel my wish on your behalf without notice. No insult is intended, nor is any real content suggested with this "wish".

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There ... much better, right?

(For a more "professional" one, this was quite good.)

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