I didn't intend it -- it wasn't the point -- but there has been some discussion recently about how we should dress in church. I'm afraid we've missed the point. Oh, I know, people feel one way or another about that, but I don't. They say, "Clothes make the man," but it's simply not true. It's not about what you wear to church. What, then?
The real issue (and I think this was touched on but almost entirely missed in the discussion) is not the clothes. There are no dress codes (or shouldn't be) in churches. Why? Simple. It's not biblical. We aren't told to wear a tie to church. We aren't told that shorts are okay. Clothes are not the point. What are we told? "By those who come near Me I will be treated as holy, and before all the people I will be honored" (Lev 10:3). Easy. Regard God as holy. In Scripture, everyone who had a close encounter with God was terrified. One of my favorite stories was the disciples on the Sea of Galilee in a storm and Jesus was asleep (Mark 4:31-. The disciples woke Him. "Don't you care that we're going to drown???" Jesus rebuked the storm, it halted, and the text says, "They became very much afraid" (Mark 4:35-41). You thought they were scared in a storm? That was nothing to seeing God in the boat with them. That was terrifying. We tend to think of God as a pal, a buddy, our friend. And, in a sense, He is, but we must not lose that "fear" factor. Moses thought of God as a friend when he cried out, "Show me Your glory!" (Exo 33:18). God spared Moses's life not by simply being merciful, but by covering him so he wouldn't die seeing God's glory. God is our friend; He's just not that kind of friend.
We fail to reverence God as we should, and that is a key, biblical problem. Not wearing a tie to church is not. I think of what Peter wrote to wives, "Do not let your adorning be external -- the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear -- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious" (1 Peter 3:3-4). That's the idea. Peter wasn't commanding women to dress (or not dress) a certain way. He was telling them to have a spirit -- a character -- that reflected God. That character would show externally. So, no, what you wear to church is not the issue. Your attitude is. It's just hard to imagine shorts and flip-flops as an outward sign of an inner realization of a holy, holy, holy God. No, the shorts are not the problem, but how much does how we dress say about what's in our hearts? I don't know what's in hearts, so I won't respond to what others are wearing. But I cannot imagine walking into the palace of a king in shorts and flip-flops and a flippant, "Hiya, king" and regarding that as "respectful."
15 comments:
I think that this is what I was hinting at. Nice job.
This was the point I was trying to make. What we wear is an indication of what we think. If your best clothes are a clean pair of jeans and a white tee, and you're wearing that as your "Sunday Best" out of a heart of reverence, that's good. My point was that I don't believe most people in church are even conscious of what they are wearing and how that reflects their view of God and how the non-believing world sees what we think of Him. If we dress and act like everyone else, how are we being set apart?
Stan, I appreciate your emphasis on the bigger picture here. I wish to hold a fear of the Lord and show that respect for Him in all aspects of my life and “do all to God’s glory.” (This was your theme for Sep. 27, of course.) The way I see it, if fulfilling this desire is an on-going effort throughout my day and my week, I should not need to change my ways (or my expression of honor to Christ) very much (if at all) when Sunday morning rolls around. I suspect that I see far less of a connection between “how I dress” and “what’s in my heart” than others might, and I would wish for acceptance of that just as I would not judge others for their choices of personal expression (judging--and freedom from it--goes both ways, of course).
I always found it interesting that when attending church in the one of the poorest areas in Haiti, that everyone Haitian in the church was dressed very well. Maybe the third world Christians can teach us something.
David, I think we are both in the same neighborhood on this issue.
When I read the last line of this post (about approaching a king flippantly), my mind immediately went to Heb. 4:16: “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace….”--an invitation I accept with regularity. I know that I can only do that because I am cloaked in the righteousness of Christ. That raiment presents me as “holy” and acceptable to God. I am not filled with terror as I approach the King’s throne (nor do I hesitate because I might not be “dressed right”), for this holy King is also my loving Father. I wear these “garments of salvation” 24/7, and they are truly my quintessential “Sunday clothes”--regardless of what day it is or where I am. I suspect that my eternal gratitude for this covering leads me to downplay my own literal clothing choices--and to cast off all the works of my flesh, which are as “filthy rags”--as I focus on yielding my heart to Him in reverence.
Lorna, I'm sure you'd agree that "boldly" isn't the same as "arrogantly," "flippantly," or "with utter disrespect." My example was actually from a story about Babe Ruth. Told to dress right and show proper respect, he walked into the presence of the king of England and said, "Hiya, king!" The message was clear. No one was better than he was. When we do that to our King, we say the same thing. "Boldly" makes sense, since we are sinners deserving wrath, but we can approach. "Flippantly" does not.
Yes, “boldly” differs from “flippantly.” It can have a negative connotation (i.e. meaning “impudent” or “presumptuous”), and I can see that some might think approaching God “boldly” is just as shocking as doing so “flippantly.” Yet I was blessed to think about God’s approachability and accessibility, even while He is holy, holy, holy (and how that was through my robe of righteousness through Christ rather than my “Sunday best”). The commendable aspect of my comment, I believe, is how the picture of the believer approaching the throne of grace related perfectly to your example of entering a king’s palace. And that picture was from scripture and thus was brought to my mind by the Holy Spirit.
I could not find the Babe Ruth “Hiya, king” reference online, but I will give him the benefit of the doubt that perhaps it was poor breeding or ignorance on his part (it sounds like something the Three Stooges would stay, actually). While “Hiya, king” is uncouth and too informal, maybe that was truly what he thought was “proper respect,” as you say. I know about the rules of not moving to touch royals, turning your backs to the monarchs, etc. I also have no problem with acknowledging “proper dress” for, say, a tea party with the Queen (now King) of England or other “fancy,” dressy occasions; I just won’t dictate my standards to others for church, knowing that my “nice” is another’s “shabby,” and my “shabby” is another’s “nice.” And then we are back to judging one another....
I'm curious, do you not think what you wear conveys a message to other people?
I think that when we are told we get to go boldly before the King, and that we are dressed in His righteousness, I don't think that's meant in a physical sense. We are told we can go boldly before the throne of grace because we have confidence in the forgiving work of Christ as our great High Priest. I don't think I've ever thought of church as God's throne of grace. It means we don't have to cower in fear of God's wrath when we come to Him. I don't think he's talking about our attitude in church, or how we present ourselves to the world.
I'm not advocating for a dress code. I'm advocating for us to physically express our love and reverence for God to the world, not just in word. I would hope that you are going to they high tea with the king of England dress nicely, not because of some adherence to cultural expectation, but because you want to show him the respect due him in his position. How much more respect is God with? What we wear it an outward expression of our inward impression.
Would you be happy if your husband came to your anniversary dinner at a fancy restaurant in shorts and flip-flops, while you took all that effort to doll yourself up and dressed beautifully for him? Would you not feel that he isn't showing you the respect owed you if he didn't dress differently for a special occasion with you? In our minds, Sunday has simply become another day. But remember Moses's words to Aaron, "Among those who are near me I will be sanctified, and before all the people I will be glorified", after Nadab and Abihu were killed for their strange fire. They probably thought they were being more worshipful by coming before God in a new way, but He saw it as disrespectful. When we just throw on whatever is sitting in our closet, are we being sanctified before God and bringing glory to Him in the sight of others?
I realized I may have failed to communicate something very important about this topic that will turn most people against me for not having made it clear. I'm not calling anyone that dresses a certain way in church as more or less of a Christian. We are not saved by anything we do, including how we dress. What I am saying is that how dress in church in specific, and in the world in general, does bring more or less glorification to God. If you see what you wear to church as bringing maximum glorification to God, then that is what you should wear. But my observation has been that we don't even consider the concept. We don't even think about what our clothing, or music, or driving style says about the God we love. We just do these things. And I think that is the point of Paul when he says to do all things to the glory of God. As Christians, we should be intentional about how we portray the internal life and heart changing work of Christ. If you roll into church, fresh out of bed, wearing whatever was closest to hand, you're not less of a Christian. But it does indicate a lack of respect for God, and in so doing brings less glory to God. So, to anyone that has been following this topic, don't think I'm calling you less than, or unsaved, or a worse person. I'm encouraging you to think about what everything you do says about the glory of the God you love.
David, Assuming your comment above was meant for me (since you didn’t address me by name, I can’t be sure), I will clarify that both my comments above were in response to Stan’s message and were not addressing any of your remarks. I was focusing on (1) my desire to hold a fear of the Lord and “do all to God’s glory”--24/7, Sunday through Saturday (and not specifically about dressing for church); and (2) the theological issue of approaching God as a believer through Christ’s righteousness alone (also not about dressing for church). With that clarification, I believe my comments should make more sense.
I see your new comments here as a reiteration of your previous remarks (which I have declined to address specifically). Please know that I don’t disagree with everything you said. Your desire to honor God is obviously commendable, and if you believe you do that through your clothing choices, you should obey your convictions in that area--mindful that they are your convictions. Since “how to dress for church” is not a biblical directive (as Stan’s post made clear) but one of Christian liberty, I firmly believe that imposing my views about that issue upon others--even in my mind--reflects a spirit of legalism and not of grace.
I did have to laugh when reading your example of my husband attending our celebratory dinner dressed “inappropriately.” You must not have a wife who would help select your outfit for such a special occasion, but my husband surely does! (And we would be getting ready for the event at home together rather than showing up separately, no?) I first learned my husband needed my “help” that way when he showed up on our wedding day wearing black socks with his white shoes and an all-white tux. I did not realize he had done this until we got the photographer’s proofs weeks later and I saw a shot of us posed on a garden bench with his black ankles sticking out. (He explained that the only white socks he owned were gym socks and thought that black dress socks would be better than white gym socks!) Happily, 46 years later, he is a perfectly fine dresser without any help from me. :)
Also, David, my husband got a big laugh from your mention of my making an “effort to doll [my]self up and [be] dressed beautifully for him.” You are making quite the assumption about me there!
Even though I joked about this, please know I did get your point. (I happen to be blessed with a very active sense of humor, which I cannot suppress even while thinking my deepest, most serious thoughts. For example, for today’s post, “Oh, For a Thousand Tongues to Sing,” one of my responses was, “My husband thinks I have a thousand tongues, based on how much I talk!” It’s a gift, really. :)
Stan, can I ask you to clarify something in your closing thoughts in this post about which I am confused? You wrote, “So, no, what you wear to church is not the issue. Your attitude is,” and “no, the shorts are not the problem,” so I assume it’s only the attitude that matters? Would shorts and flip-flops worn while holding the right attitude be OK in your mind? Or do you say that if one has the right attitude (i.e. reverence towards God and full acknowledgement of His holiness), then they would consequently not wear shorts and flip-flops to church? So, therefore, any casually dressed assemblies would be disrespectful, in your view?
David, I commend your desire to clarify your comments here, in case a reader has misconstrued your previous remarks. I can’t speak for others, of course, but I will assure you that I myself did not feel demeaned or demoted through your remarks. (I hold what I consider a very biblical view of my standing in Christ, and nothing you said or implied affected my understanding of that spiritual reality.)
I will also say that you have corrected my initial thoughts, based on your earliest comments, that you were suggesting a particular dress code of sorts that would show proper respect to God--one perhaps defined generally (and subjectively) as “one’s best.” Now I see that more lately you are emphasizing the attitude that one holds while wearing whatever clothing they have chosen and saying that if one’s intention is to glorify God, then he/she is showing proper respect, regardless of their clothing choices. That is a better emphasis, to my mind (and it mirrors my stance throughout this conversation that God considers our hearts of highest importance, not our clothing). However, I am so sure that assessing other people’s hearts will be even harder than judging their clothing that I for one will not attempt to do that.
If it is possible to wear shorts and flip-flops into the presence of the King with a proper reverence, that's my only concern. At our church, for instance, there is a men's ministry to homeless and drug addicts and these guys show up on Sunday. They are not well-dressed, but it's not an issue to me. They're wearing what they have. A person with a deep and sincere reverence for a holy God who only has shorts and flip-flops should wear them. My primary point is it's not for me to judge them since I can only look on the outside.
OK, thanks for elaborating. I wanted to doublecheck because the notions of “there should be no dress codes for church” and “shorts and flip-flops are inappropriate for church” taken together strike me as contradictory. By their nature, of course, dress codes dictate a form of propriety and involve judgement; there are also unwritten dress codes, mostly based on common sense, convention, and consensus--but also personal tastes and respect for others. Presumably, then, people use their best judgment, based on their persuasions about appropriateness (i.e. those unwritten dress codes) and their personal circumstances (such as for the men you mentioned). Personally, that is where I feel comfortable letting the issue rest--all to God’s glory.
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