Those who know me often bemoan my sense of humor. Is that accurate? Maybe not. The number of times I've had to tell people "I'm joking" suggests I'm not. So this will possibly be a hardship rather than humor. My apologies in advance.
I enjoyed the story about the two elderly ladies out for a drive. A police officer pulled them over for going too slow. "Excuse me, ma'am," the officer said, "but you were doing 25 in a 65 zone. That makes you a road hazard." "But officer," the driver contended, "I saw the speed limit sign when we got on this road. It said 25. I always drive the speed limit." "No, ma'am," he replied, "this is the 25. This is I-25." The driver was sufficiently ashamed. "But, lady, I have to ask," the officer went on, "what's wrong with your passenger? She's shaking and clutching the seat and dashboard and looks terrified. What's wrong?" "Oh," she answered, "I guess it's because we just got off the 202."
And I used to love this story.
A scientist worked in his own private laboratory for years learning how to make something live forever. He finally figured out how to make dolphins immortal. It was a secret recipe which included baby sea gulls as its prime ingredient. He fed his dolphins this food for years, monitoring for any sign of aging, and they remained youthful. One day, he noted his supply of baby sea gulls was dwindling, so he went out to gather more. When he returned, he was aghast to see a large lion laying across his doorstep, fast asleep. He was unsure of what to do until the lion shifted and opened its mouth and he realized it was completely toothless. And he remembered he had heard about an aged escaped circus lion. This was him. This shouldn't be dangerous. So he carefully stepped over the poor old creature heading into his house and was promptly arrested. The charge: Transporting little gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.
You can thank me later.
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