The Hateful Embrace

Our current society is really keyed to detect hate. It's "hate" if you don't embrace and encourage gender dysphoria or homosexuality or same-sex mirage. (Oops! There it is ... hate!) It's hate if you discipline your kids or don't encourage their dreams. "I want to be a You Tube star." "No! You're going to graduate from 8th grade!" Hater. If you side with Scripture regarding the complementary roles of men and women, it's hate. (Besides, after all, haven't we already established that it's hate if you recognize binary gender?) If you don't favor a $15/hour "living wage" or "equal pay for women" or "Medicare for all" or the currently-popular inclusive exclusivity, it's hate. There is a whole lot of hate in this world.

As Christians, we are opposed to hate. As followers of Christ, we aim at love. Christ said that the first commandment is love for God and the second is love for your neighbor (Matt 22:37-40). Paul said that the whole law is fulfilled in love (Gal 5:14). You can have all the best spiritual gifts in the world, but without love they're useless (1 Cor 13:1-3). Christianity should be a veritable love fest (John 13:35).

Here's the problem. I think it is perfectly possible to love hatefully. That is, it's possible to do what looks like love while hating. You know this. Judas Iscariot is famous for his kiss (love, right?) that betrayed the Master (Luke 22:47-48). It appears, then, that "loving behavior" may not actually be loving.

If this isn't clear to you, then Jesus's words might be jarring to you.

"Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent." (Rev 3:19)

Do you think of "reprove and discipline" as "love"? The author of Hebrews wrote, "The Lord disciplines the one He loves, and chastises every son whom He receives" (Heb 12:6). From the other direction, Solomon wrote, "Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him" (Prov 13:24). James wrote, "My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins" (James 5:19-20). Biblically, love can include hard things and to fail to do so when necessary is hate.

We really don't like to do that. Worse, if we do, I suspect there's something wrong. If we enjoy it, we don't get the nature of discipline (Heb 12:11). It is sometimes -- certainly far more often than we'd like to think -- necessary to reprove and discipline for love. Conversely, when we embrace those who need such loving reproof and discipline, it is hate. We just seem to be too short-sighted sometimes to see it.