Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

Kristen Howerton wrote a piece entitled Christians: Is the Debate Over Gay Marriage What We Want to Be Known For? Springing off of the recent World Vision misstep as well as the Phil Robertson and Chick-fil-A kerfuffles, she wants to know, "Why can't we all just get along?"

She has three primary questions:

1. Why is same-sex marriage such a fraught issue?
2. How can we find unity in this division?
3. How is this affecting our LGBT brothers and sisters?

When I read the last question, I tried to think what she meant. Is she referring to "our LGBT brothers and sisters" in the sense of "fellow human beings" or in the sense of "brothers and sisters in Christ"? I read on. When she said, "I asked a gay Christian friend ...", I had my answer. She was thinking of fellow Christians, not fellow human beings.

Why, then, is same-sex marriage such an issue? Well, I'd like to answer that, Kristen. It's because the Bible isn't unclear about God's intentions for marriage. It is for the union of a man and a woman to become one flesh (Gen 2:24; Matt 19:4-6). (I needed to put that Matthew reference because these are Jesus's words.) It is for the male-female "helpmeet" relationship (Gen 2:18). It is for the propagation of the species (Gen 1:28). And, beyond and above all that, it is a picture of the relationship of Christ to the Church (Eph 5:31-32) (which, by the way, includes a built-in requirement of male and female, husband and wife - Eph 5:22-33). It isn't small and it isn't trivial and it isn't merely a difference of opinion. It is at the heart of the question, "Is the Bible reliable?" It is at the core of the question, "Is the Holy Spirit able to accomplish what He intends to accomplish?"

Kristen conflates two issues here, and this just adds to the confusion. One issue is "marriage". What is it? What does it mean? What does God say about it? You see, the primary reason that "same-sex marriage" is an issue is not because homosexual behavior is a sin. It is because marriage means something, and "same-sex" is not part of it. The question, then, isn't the morality of same-sex relationships, but marriage. But she, like the majority of others, throws in homosexual behavior as the issue. This is a separate issue. It's not part of the "marriage" question.

Kristen asks, "How can we find unity in this division?", and I'll answer this as well. We can't. Why? Because one side is confusing the issues. I don't call "same-sex marriage" a sin; I call it nonsense. I call it an affront to God's definition of the term. I call it a violation of God's explanation of what marriage is about and what it stands for. If that was the issue, I suppose we could find unity by hashing it out. But that, no matter how fanciful, can't be done because no one on that side of the question sees that as the issue. They, like Howerton, are stuffing "same-sex marriage" together with "homosexual behavior" (and buying the notion that "homosexual" is a definition rather than a behavioral choice). So now I have my Bible, the Word of God, that says the homosexual behavior is a sin and that those who engage without repentance in that particular sin (along with a list of others) have no part in the kingdom of God (1 Cor 6:9-10). And voices out there like Howerton's would like us to just get along. How? Well, we need to put down our Bibles, put down our certainty, put down our principles, set aside Church history, set aside everything that the Bible says about this particular sin (see, for instance, Jude 1:7), and just say, "Oh, it's okay; everything is fine."

No, it's not. If there is such a thing as "LGBT brothers and sisters" -- unrepentant folks engaging in what the Bible deems sexual immorality -- and if there is such a thing as "same-sex marriage", then we don't merely need to "just get along". We need to move on. We need to give up the whole concept of a reliable Bible and a Holy Spirit that can accomplish what He intends. We need to abandon Christianity as a solid belief system because we have no firm footing on which to stand. The Bible is obscure, the Spirit is incapable, and what can we really know at all? Now we can all get along. Of course, it is a "get along" into a hopeless morass of relativism and subjectivism. Maybe the Kristen's of this world are happy with that. I can't go there. How do I hope to affect "our LGBT brothers and sisters"? I hope to call them to repentance, to bring them to Christ, to offer them a solution, because that is love. I hope to offer them the same thing I need, a relationship with Christ on His terms. We don't get to do that by standing on the ground He forbids. It's not unity or loving to suggest we do.