Have you heard of double petunia?I know, I know … but … it stuck with me. It’s not my fault
Well, a petunia is like a begonia.
A begonia is kind of sausage.
A sausage and battery is a crime.
Monkey’s crime trees.
Trees a crowd.
A rooster crowd and made a noise.
The noise is that thing between your eyes.
When you vote there are eyes and nays.
A colt nays.
And if you go out in the rain with a colt … you wake up with double petunia.
Monday, September 28, 2026
An Oldie, Not Goodie
It’s embarrassing. I heard this joke in junior high. The fact that I can still recite it is embarrassing. It’s the kind of joke that should have been instantly deleted from memory … and, yet … here it is.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Groan!!!
Hooray for puns and homonymish words.
Ah, “Humor Monday.” This should be a regular thing :).
Shouldn’t your last line be “And if you go out in the rain without a colt”? (If “colt” stands for “coat” there.)
When I was a kid, my dad would sing “Mairzy Doats” to us. (That probably sparked my love of wordplay.)
“Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey. A kiddley divey too, wouldn’t you?”
Which translates to:
“Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy. A kid will eat ivy too, wouldn’t you?”
When I was a kid, I wrote this little doozy (it actually has a tune as well):
”Stop in the name of the laws are made by lawyers came through my door broke down and up are opposites never go together we’ll be.”
(Obviously, I didn’t know what lawyers do.)
Here are some limericks I like (found online):
-------------------------------------------------------
A canny young fisher named Fisher
Once fished from the edge of a fissure.
A fish with a grin
Pulled the fisherman in.
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.
-------------------------------------------------------
A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, "Let us flee!"
"Let us fly," said the flea,
And they flew through a flaw in the flue.
------------------------------------------------------
There once was an old man of Esser
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser.
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all
And now he's a college professor.
-----------------------------------------------------
There was a young lady from Hyde
Who ate a green apple and died.
While her lover lamented,
The apple fermented,
And made cider inside her inside.
--------------------------------------------------
A crossword compiler named Moss
Who found himself quite at a loss
When asked, “Why so blue?”
Said, “I haven't a clue.
I'm 2 Down to put 1 Across.”
---------------------------------------------------
‘Tis a favorite project of mine,
A new value of pi to assign.
I would fix it at 3,
For it's simpler, you see,
Than 3 point 1 4 1 5 9
--------------------------------------------------
One Saturday morning at three
A cheesemonger's shop in Paree
Collapsed to the ground
With a thunderous sound
Leaving only a pile of de brie.
---------------------------------------------------
Colt would be cold, if you go out in the rain with a cold.
I thought of that, David, but I know that the old wife’s tale warns that getting wet leads to head colds (implying that one should wear a raincoat). I guess either way makes sense … er … rather, doesn’t make sense ;). And actually, double petunias are a real thing--I had some among my flowering annuals this year!
Post a Comment