My wife and I watched the sequel to I Can Only Imagine (called, believe it or not, I Can Only Imagine 2). "Based on a true story" (I'm never quite sure what that means), it's about a crisis in the life of Bart Millard, the lead singer from MercyMe. Fine. There were some interesting points, though.
A key character was a guy named Tim Timmons. He was unassuming and just wanted to ... well ... praise the Lord, so to speak. He was fascinated with Horatio Spafford's story that is played out in the hymn, It Is Well With My Soul. The point gets bigger when he tells Millard he was dying of cancer ... and singing "It is well with my soul" was kind of important. The whole concept of "It is well with my soul" in the midst of crisis is often foreign to us believers ... but it shouldn't be. The movie brought that home in a powerful way.
The other thing was Millard's crisis. His son suffered from diabetes type 1 and Millard hated giving him injections because of his own history of his father causing him pain. The constant conflict with his son (over the diabetes as well as other things) leads him to tell his wife, "I'm pretty sure I'm the wrong guy to be his father." I get it. I've felt that way. I'm not faulting the character. But they failed to point out the truth in this case. Millard didn't choose to be his son's father; God did. And the idea that "I'm the wrong guy to be his father" suggests that "You, God, made a mistake."
I only mention it because I suspect Millard isn't alone out there. I think it's entirely possible that lots of Christians think that they're the wrong one ... the wrong wife or husband, the wrong father or mother, the wrong son or daughter. We might think, "They deserve better." We might think, "They'd be better off without me." I would like to encourage you that it's just not true. God is always in charge and He never makes mistakes and He uses all things to work together for good. I can look back at crisis after crisis in my life, either that I've caused or that were foisted off on me, that turned out to be blessings. Scripture says that's not an exception; it's the rule (Rom 8:28-29). So you, brother and sister, are the one God has chosen to do what you're doing. Don't count on yourself to get it right; count on Him.
2 comments:
The hard part is the waiting. But I can endure because I know my Father will keep His promise.
Wow. I honestly cannot imagine ever feeling that I am (or was) the wrong woman to mother my children--for this basic reason: I don’t believe there is another person who could love my children to the ultimate degree that I do. Perhaps it’s a female thing, as there was something profoundly special about physically growing a baby within my very self, just below my heart-- providing not only the physical home and nourishment for the developing zygote/blastocyst/embryo/fetus but also the emotional and spiritual investment in this brand-new human being’s personhood. During those nine months of pregnancy, I offered as much care, thought, and love to my future (unknown, sight-unseen) child as I gave myself; with each gestation, my baby-to-be was so much a part of me that her/his move to the “outside world” barely altered that inseparable bond between us.
In addition, because of the circumstances of my children’s long-awaited arrival, there was never a moment when I didn’t consider them precious gifts from God. One way I am uniquely qualified to mother my children (over any other woman) is by praying for them. I love them more and know them better than any other human and can pray for them and their futures like no one else can. Years ago I read a book addressing “the ministry of motherhood,” and since then, I have felt that my role as mother to my children was a unique calling of God upon me. As you say, God made a perfect choice.
P.S. I did not give much thought to or comment upon the possibility of being the wrong wife for my husband because, frankly, I feel that God made a perfect choice there as well. :-)
P.P.S. Like the Tim Timmons character, I hope I am praising God--especially in song--right up to my dying moment
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