You Keep Using That Word ...

There was a group in the early days of Calvary Chapel in the 1970's called "Love Song." I liked a lot of their music. One song is (obviously) called "A Love Song." In the song, these lyrics occur. "All the emotions, true feelings of life is what music of love is about." Clearly, the song is assuming that "love" is an emotion. But ... I don't think it is. So I thought I'd take a look ... at Scripture.

I've written in the past about the problem of assigning love to the "emotion" category when we're commanded to love over and over. It's not reasonable to command an emotion. It doesn't mean feelings are excluded. It simply means it can't be the definition. There are Greek words for "love" that are not purely matters of the will. For instance, philia refers to mutual affection, that of close friends. Jesus used that one when He said, "Greater love has no one than this ..." (John 15:13). Greek has eros which refers to romantic attraction and physical desire. It doesn't occur in Scripture, but the notion can be found in the Song of Solomon. Another is storge, referring to natural affection, especially familial love. This word doesn't quite occur in Scripture, but Paul uses it once in Romans when he writes, "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love" (Rom 12:10). That "brotherly love" is philadelphia, where phila is a form of philia, but "devoted" is philostorgos, the union of philia and storge. Combined, it is a cherishing of kindred. The other use is also from Paul. He writes that in the last days people will be "unloving" (2 Tim 3:3) ... astorgos, where "a" is a negation. The best translation would be "without natural affection." And, of course, as we all know, there is agapē. This one is unconditional, rooted in the will, seeking the good of the other. It's a description of God's love for us that isn't "warm affection" but a choice to seek our best.

So ... the last question, then. What version are we commanded? Every major New Testament command to love God or others uses the same Greek word ... agapē. We are commanded to agapē God (e.g., Matt 22:37) and agapē our neighbor (e.g., Matt 22:39). We are commanded to "agapē one another" as Christ has done for us (John 15:12), and Paul says this love fulfills the law (Rom 13:9-10). We're even commanded to agapē our enemies (Matt 5:44). Husbands are commanded to agapē their wives (Eph 5:25). (Interestingly, older women are commanded to teach younger women to "philandros" (affectionately love) their husbands (Titus 2:4).) It seems as if this unconditional love that is a function of the will in which we seek the best for the loved one is the love most demanded ... and not just some "warm affection" version. The dominant ethic of Christian living is this choice we're to make every day to seek the best ... for God and for others. I suspect a singular focus of that kind of love would produce a natural emotional response--warm affection--that most of us would also call "love" (Matt 6:21).