Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. (1 Cor 7:27-28)Interesting terms. "Bound" means "knit or tied together" clearly a reference to marriage and its obligations. "Do not seek to be released." But ... I didn't. In fact, I tried to hire a lawyer who would sue her to stay with me (ostensibly for "contractual reasons"). (Obviously no such lawyer exists.) And "released" ... clearly the opposite of "bound," but it requires first being bound. (You can't be "released" if you were never "bound" in any sense.) So ... I didn't seek to be released, but I ended up released (thanks to California's "no-fault" divorce laws). Yet, I did not seek a wife. And God said, "But if you marry, you have not sinned."
Thirty-three wonderful years now. I laugh at Adam's "It's that woman you gave me!" (Gen 3:12), but I delight in God's unique gift to me. You see, I'm not ... normal. I'm ... boring. I don't need novelty or excitement. I'm not overly sociable or greedy or any of the typical extremes. Yet ... this woman -- this one God gave me -- finds herself contented with me ... for 33 years and counting. We enjoy each other's company, share each other's joys, bear each other's burdens. We've experienced "better" and "worse," "richer" and "poorer," "sickness" and "health," and through it all she has loved and cherished me. No small feat. She's an independent woman who simultaneously takes care of everything she deems her responsibility (and that's a large list) and relies completely on me to do anything I can do for her.
In 2014, I wrote about my "Proverbs 31" wife. I quoted from the end of the chapter: "Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 'Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all'" (Prov 31:28-29). She has always been that woman and she stands as my absolute favorite example of a "footprint of God" in my life. I was reading recently (again) of God's requirements for husbands in a marriage. I talked to her about it ... you know, a "performance review." My requirements, I explained, are to "give up self" for her, love her as myself, and live with her in an understanding way. "How am I doing?" Amazingly, she said, "Great." That's the kind of miraculous wife I have ... not that I'm doing great, but that she thinks so. She is a "gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious" (1 Peter 3:4). And I'm very blessed. When I see her, I see God's handiwork, an ongoing "footprint."
8 comments:
Happy anniversary. And happy is the heart that listens when God speaks.
It was nice to read this new chapter in “The Saga of Stan Smith” and to see how the Lord worked in your particular situation so graciously (especially to provide a partner to help in raising your two young children). Regarding the option and opportunity for moving on to a second marriage, it was fortuitous that you came to understand that Jesus’ condemnation in Matt. 19:9 would not include you (since you did not initiate the divorce, but your first wife did) and that, as Paul clarifies, you were no longer “bound” to a spouse but “released” and therefore free to remarry. Happily, God is a God of second chances and has clearly honored your heart’s desire to be a loving and faithful husband to a worthy and appreciative wife. Congratulations on finding a “Proverbs 31 woman”--the ultimate standard ever before us Christian wives.
I understand "each other's" is normal since the term, "each other" is usually a one-to-one correspondence (as in "each to an other"), but what if the "other" is plural (as in "each to all the others")? All the sites indicate there is no "each others'," but I question that. It's changed ... but I'm protesting ... quietly.
In the case of “each other’s” you are using a singular possessive pronoun--i.e. you enjoy your singular wife’s company/joys/burdens, and she enjoys yours (singular)--therefore singular possessive (other’s) is correct, rather than plural possessive (others’). You can also think of the wording of “each other’s company” as “the company of each other” to see clearly that it is singular and not plural. You would never say “the company of each others,” of course, so “each others’” (plural possessive) would never be correct either.
By the way, I only see the third instance changed (the first two are still wrong) … and I’m protesting … quietly. ;) JK
Your protest seems to be to have both the correct and incorrect form of "each other's" still there.
David, I had taken note of that as well, and it made me chuckle. Fortunately, Stan has come around to see reason. :-D
Happy Anniversary!!! Aug 1st this year will be our 50th.
I fully believe God put us together. I became a Christian in January 1974 and, knowing I'd probably leave the Army when my time was up on 2/27/75 (I was thinking of possibly staying in to let the Army give me free aircraft mechanic training instead of paying for a school), I prayed that the Lord would bring me a wife when I got out .
Well I had a pin of Snoopy pin with him as a pilot that my grandmother had given me a couple years earlier because I was taking flying lessons and he was always my "hero." So here it was late spring of '74 and a weird accident caused it to break. My brother got out of the Army at Ft. Hood, TX (he went in a year after I did and I had re-enlisted) and I decided to take leave so he could pick me up at Ft. Bragg and we could go home together. July 31st I asked my grandmother where she got the Snoopy pin and she told me at a card store at the mall (only one mall at the time in Springfield, OH). So the next day I went and the girl behind the counter had no clue, but Jill, the other employee, heard my request and she had just put them away so she came over and we ended up talking for about 15 minutes before she had a customer and I left. But I had such fun talking to her that I came back the next day and asked her out.
Now, was it a coincidence that my pin happened to break when it did? Was it a coincidence that the one young lady had just put them up? I don't think so; I think it was the Lord answering my prayer BEFORE I got out of the Army! And she was a believer!
I remember a guy talking about the rocks piled on trails in the area that people put there. He said, "I looked at the two rocks on top of each other and thought, 'Wow, I wonder what forces of nature did that. Then I found three and thought, 'Even more amazing.'" He went on to explain that by the time he found 5, he had to conclude it wasn't nature. "How many rocks have to be piled on top of each other before you conclude it's not nature?" You got a "pile of rocks" ... broken pin on a particular day when the only person that knew what to do was there ... and a believer ... and reasonably conclude, "This is God's work." I'm sure we all have "Footprints."
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