Independence

We in America value "independence." Just what is independence? According to the dictionary, it means, "not subject to control by others." Well ... sort of. I mean, we are subject to the control of others in life. It also means, "not requiring or relying on something else : not contingent." But ... we are contingent. We require farmers and merchants and law enforcement and friends and family and ... a very long list of others. It seems like "independence" is a myth ... and ought to be.

What is it that drives our love of "independence"? Part of it is the idea of self-control. We like to believe we are captains of our own fate. Another is self-authorship. We want to think we're the protagonists of our own story. In the 1950s and 60s, psychologist Harry Harlow did experiments with monkeys. His experiments showed that humans don't just want touch; they need it. As in orphanages where children experienced minimal contact, humans are stunted, weakened, suffer cognitive delays, and a dramatically higher mortality rate. Conversely, science shows us that skin-to-skin contact of newborns stabilizes their heart rate and breathing, increases oxytocin, and produces stronger bonds and better emotional regulation. That is, we aren't just better if we're not independent. We are born dependent, remain interdependent, and cannot survive actual independence.

Independence actually is a myth. Hillary famously said, "It takes a village to raise a child." She had large political intentions and I decry some of them, but the fact is ... we are a race that requires community -- family, friends, neighbors, farther and farther out. The early church made a practice of it. "Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart" (Acts 2:46). Believers are commanded to not forsake our own assembling together (Heb 10:25). Jesus said, "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:35). Our drive for "independence" is a drive for a myth that can't actually occur and shouldn't actually occur. Instead, dependence on the God who owns us and saved us and on each other is the ultimate good (Matt 22:37-40). It's our sin nature that pushes us toward independence, and it's clearly the wrong direction.