It's interesting. In the garden of Eden, God laid the primary responsibility of marriage on Adam -- to care for his "helpmeet" (Gen 2:18). You know, as in "Christ and the church." So when Paul told wives, "Be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord" (Eph 5:22-24), he was just carrying on this theme. Why should wives be subject to their husbands as to the Lord? Because God had designed marriage so that husbands are responsible for their wives (1 Cor 11:3) ... like Christ takes care of the church. So the husband's job is to love his wife (Eph 5:25). Not as the world does; as Christ did. He gave self up for her (Php 2:5-8). That kind of love. That kind of care. It's huge, men. No "self" involved. But that's not the end of the description of the task of the husband. This "giving self up for her" had a purpose.
... so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. (Eph 5:26-27)Husbands, did you know that was part of your primary assignment in caring for your wife? Give self up, yes, for the purpose of sanctifying her. How? Cleanse her by the washing of the water with the Word. God has assigned husbands the task of bathing their wives in the Word in order to make them holy and blameless. Now, I don't know about you guys, but I'm not the best example of accomplishing this assignment from God. Hit and miss at best. And this ought not be. God gave me this wife in order to give myself up and see to her spiritual washing in the Word. It's never too late to start. It's called repentance.
10 comments:
This is my greatest failing as a husband.
Stan, I appreciate what you wrote for Christian husbands today (and I don't disagree with anything you said). I am wondering if you feel that these verses (or any others) teach that husbands are to be their wives' “spiritual leaders”--i.e. that women need not take charge of and responsibility for their own spiritual growth but rely on their husbands' leadership alone for their own sanctification. In cases of disparate spiritual gifting, maturity, and other factors, how would this charge to Christian husbands be best fulfilled so women's spiritual growth is not stymied?
"women need not take charge of and responsibility for their own spiritual growth"
It would take special effort to come to this conclusion. In life, we have people in authority over us. That does not eliminate our own responsibility. A boss at work will tell you what to do (and, note, a good boss doesn't micromanage), but you still have the responsibility to do it. Further, there are spheres of authority. There is government and parents and teachers and all kinds of spheres of authority. Teachers, for instance, have authority over their students and do not get to tell parents how to raise their kids or how to have a happy marriage. In the case of the husband's sphere of authority, it is under God's (1 Cor 11:3) and the wife is always answerable to God.
Thanks for that clarification. You probably know as well as I do that many husbands and wives have indeed wrongly come to that conclusion (i.e. there are many cult-like groups that encompass this misinterpretation).
Indeed, Lorna, I don't think there's a single biblical doctrine that hasn't been abused in the name of Christ.
I'm with David in acknowledging that I don't do well at this.
Ditto Stan, David and Craig.
So, Stan, David, Craig, and Marshal Art have admitted they don't do this very well, and I haven't really expected this of my husband, to be honest (since I can study the Bible adequately on my own). I guess Paul would be disappointed in the whole lot of us!!
I'm sure Paul would be disappointed, but, in fact, there is no command there from God for wives. "Wives, don't do anything to pursue Christ if your husband doesn't lead you." Not there. And while it is good that we can each study the Bible adequately on our own, God seemed to think that we all need leaders (Heb 13:17) and teachers (Eph 4:11-13), so we should all be cautious of any "Lone Ranger" notion we might carry around. (Not saying you do. Just saying it exists and we all should avoid it.)
I am a bit relieved to know that Paul might be disappointed in you guys but not in me :). Seriously, though, I agree that teachers and leaders serve crucial roles in the Body of Christ; indeed, a good number of Christian women have that particular gifting and can lend support to their sisters in instances where that “Lone Ranger” mentality might otherwise flare up. Even more encouraging to me is the assurance that Christian women are welcome to freely seek God--with husbands who do likewise or even in the absence of them.
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