Can I Get a Witness? (1992)

I married the mother of my two boys in 1980. Twelve years later, she was filing for divorce. I was "too boring" and another man beckoned to her. In preparation for her departure, we were moving from the house we were renting to a smaller (and more affordable) apartment. So there I was, out in the garage, sorting stuff to keep or toss in the move. Digging through boxes, I came across one of those yellow, lined sheets of paper with my handwriting on it. What was this? I had written it some 12 years prior. In the early months of our marriage my wife had told me, "I hate you!" Now, you already know that I had lost my good job, so there I was, doing a low-paying night watchman job, and calling out to God. "Lord, what happened?" So I grabbed a piece of yellow, lined paper and started writing out the sequence that brought me to marry my wife.

When I considered marrying my bride, I was keenly concerned about God's will. Someone from the outside would have told me I was taking a negative approach. I kept throwing "roadblocks" in the way and telling God, "If you don't want me to marry her, stop me here." They weren't actually roadblocks. More like fleeces. And as I sat in that guard shack on that April evening, I listed the fleeces. I had some 28 times that I told God, "Stop me here. I don't want to pursue this if you don't want me to pursue this." And 28 times ... He opened the door. I concluded, that April, 1980 night, that I had certainly married this woman because it was God's will and not merely my youthful desires, so I would trust Him.

And now here I was, 12 years later, facing the end of the marriage. And, sifting through the flotsam and jetsam of 12 years of marriage, God saw fit to hand me this sheet of paper ... again. Why I kept it I can't tell you, but there it was, staring me in the face. Twenty-eight times that God had said, "Yes, this is My will." Too many to be coincidence. It dawned on me that, if the marriage had been God's will, then He also knew about this outcome all these years later ... and planned for it. That is, while the divorce was not God's "perfect will," it was certainly His permissive will, His plan, His direction for my life. Like Joseph, I could say, "You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good" (Gen 50:20). This was part of His "plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope" (Jer 29:11). God spoke to me that evening. "It's okay. I knew this was coming. It is in your best interest and part of My plan. I will never leave you nor forsake you." And I could say, "It is well with my soul." Is God real? I say so. Can He be trusted? I would declare it so. Does He cause well-being and create calamity (Isa 45:7)? Yes, He does. But He always does what's good and what's right. I can say so because I've seen Him in action for the past 30+ years after that, and He has done what was best. I'm an eyewitness.