According to Forbes Advisor, divorce rates in America have decreased from 4 per 1,000 people in 2000 to 2.5 per 1,000 people in 2021. Now, marriage rates have decreased in the same period from 8.2 per 1,000 to 6 per 1,000 in 2021, so it would appear reasonable that divorce rates would also drop, but you should see that 4 divorces out of 8.2 marriages is roughly 48% while 2 divorces out of 6 marriages is roughly 33%, so divorce rates are down. There was a time that the anti-Christian mainstream world was reporting that divorce rates among Christians were just as high as non-Christians, but, in fact, that wasn't quite accurate. Turns out that people who live what they believe had a significantly lower divorce rate than the rest of the world. Still ... is there such a thing as a "divorce-proof marriage"? In practical terms, I don't know, but in biblical terms it is a certainty.
What makes a divorce-proof marriage? Practicing what Scripture commands. Jesus said, "What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matt 19:6). Done. But there's more. Peter said, "Wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct" (1 Peter 3:1-6). Paul wrote, "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord" (Eph 5:22). Now, if a wife follows those instructions, how is divorce possible? How can a person in submission to another as to the Lord leave? It is a contradiction. Peter said, "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered" (1 Peter 3:7). How could a husband whose mission is to understand and honor his wife exit the relationship? Why would a wife whose husband is intent on understanding and honoring her leave? Beyond that, Paul said, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her" (Eph 5:25-30) A husband who gives himself up for his wife as Christ gave Himself up for the church cannot even consider walking away. Cannot happen. Believers who are willing to follow these very simple instructions are fundamentally incapable of divorce. It's not even an option.
Paul summed it up this way. "However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband" (Eph 5:33). Simple. Mutual submission. This marriage doesn't stand on the faithfulness of each partner, but on the faithfulness of God. She is submitting as to the Lord because the Lord is faithful. He is loving his wife to the emptying of self because Christ is faithful. Marriage includes mutual submission "out of reverence for Christ" (Eph 5:21). So it's true. Those believers who actually practice what God's Word requires would necessarily have the lowest divorce rates in the world. The question, then, isn't "divorce-proof marriage," but are we believers going to obey God? That really should not be a question, should it?
8 comments:
Nancy Pearcey goes into detail about the data regarding the marriage satisfaction of those who are committed Christians as opposed to nominal Christians and how most reporting doesn't separate the two. The data seems clear that a Christian marriage is the best choice for satisfaction and stability. Yet so many ignore the data.
I imagine those numbers are skewed because they don't count the number of people living as if they were married. That aside, we find in every aspect of life, those that actually live what they believe will obey what they believe. Too often, people live in opposition to their claimed beliefs, probably mostly because most people don't actually know what they believe.
David,
I would suspect that much of the data on marriage that we see put out there is skewed in multiple ways in order to paint a particular picture. Much like the data on Christians which combines more serious Christians with that of nominal Christians in order to suggest that Christians are just as bad as everyone else when it comes to marriage.
I agree that in practical terms, there is no “divorce-proof marriage…but in biblical terms, it is a certainty” (assuming that both spouses hold a similar commitment). Unfortunately, too many Christian couples model their attitudes and actions on how the world lives rather than on biblical principles (and not only in their marriages). However, the hearts of those who follow Christ should be growing deeper in love, selflessness, and devotion to others--Christlike attributes that would be leading them in the complete opposite direction from where thoughts of divorce would be found.
I tried to be careful in my wording. For an actual "divorce-proof marriage" to exist, it would require two obedient believers. Speaking in terms of the principle of the "divorce-proof marriage," in principle it is a certainty, but in terms of actual couples, I make no promises.
I agree with you being careful, but it is possible and there are some factors that raise the probability.
Following what the Scriptures says of husbands and wives and their duties to each other, etc, I think we have a divorce-proof marriage, although we are only 48 years into it.
Yes, Glenn, the only variable that would prevent a divorce-proof marriage would be a disobedient spouse.
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