This isn't a big thing. It has just kind of bothered me ... for years. In my lifetime I've lived in a lot of places and been to a lot of churches, and here's something odd that I've observed. At churches, Mother's Day is typically a day of celebrating mothers. They give them gifts and thank them and thank God for them. If there is a sermon about mothers, it's about why God loves them so and why we should be grateful for them. Father's Day is typically different. Sure, they start the service by thanking dads, but if there is a sermon on dads, it's about how they need to improve and step up and stop being sinful fathers. Mind you, this is stereotypical, but I have seen it more than a few times.
I wonder why we do this. Do we think mothers are all very good and fathers are not? Do we think that mothers are worth more than fathers? Do we not see that hugging moms and beating up dads might lead some dads to want to stay away from church? (I would suggest that there are more than a few things that we do in church that favor females over males and few things we do that encourage men to be there. But that's a different topic.) Do we think that women are more fragile and men more able to take it? I don't know.
I am not suggesting we do not celebrate mothers on Mother's Day (Although I was in one church service on one Mother's Day where everything was about how wonderful our mothers are. I kind of thought we were in church to worship God.) And I am not suggesting that fathers don't need to be encouraged to be good fathers. God ultimately holds them responsible (e.g., 1 Cor 11:3; Eph 6:4; Col 3:21). They need to be urged to be good husbands and good fathers. But not mothers? Don't mothers need to be encouraged to be godly women, godly mothers, godly wives? And don't fathers need to be appreciated? I mean, given the current societal perspective that "masculine" is "toxic" and men are the problem in all ways, I'm pretty sure they're not getting appreciated enough. I think both aspects -- appreciation and encouragement to improve -- are necessary for both, but it seems like our practice is ... gender-biased. Just a thought.
6 comments:
You're not alone in noticing this trend. I think it's another sign of the World affecting the Church. Mother's do all the work bearing and caring for the children, and fathers are merely the donor dead beat that can barely muster to lift a finger.
While I agree about this trend, I think it's interesting to juxtapose this trend with the messages sent to women by society/culture/the church. How can a woman be a successful, committed to a career, while also being a perfect mother? What about those who believe that objectifying themselves on social media is appropriate, for a mother? It seems interesting that the women held up in the larger Christian community are those who are known for something other than being mothers. Seems like there might be a mixed message.
Craig, you see the church encouraging women to objectify themselves and to put career over family? Maybe in liberal churches. It seems to me that the most consistent place that you find motherhood being praised and encouraged is in conservative churches. Sure, the world and social media don't, but that wasn't the focus of the post. How are fathers and mothers viewed from the church?
David,
I agree that in liberal churches that you are more likely to see women being encouraged to pursue career over family, even to the point of encouraging abortion to help one's career. I think it's mostly about making an idol of the self, and focusing on gratifying one's selfish desires.
But I also see a trend where women are encouraged to meet what seems like an impossible standard. One where they pursue their career goals, while simultaneously being expected to be a perfect mother. I think this is why I see so many younger women who choose to earn money on social media or with home businesses.
Not sure I find anything wrong with a mother doing some side income at home, as long as the priority is caring for the house and family. Aren't we told in Proverbs something about part of being a good wife is the income she adds, that she's not only a drain on the family finances?
David,
I also don't have a problem with that.
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