We've Done This to Ourselves

"Merry Christmas!" he said to me as we parted to go to our prospective workplaces. "I can say that out here," he concluded, "but I'd have to face HR if I did it at work." I got to thinking about it. I think we might have done this to ourselves.

When I was growing up the perceived idea of parenting was "Prepare your kids to be adults," not "Be your kids best friend." If you got in trouble at school, you'd be facing multiple "threats." The school authorities (teacher, principal, that sort of thing) would deal with you and you'd expect to be in trouble when your parents found out, too. At the dinner table (we ate dinner as a family back then) we were told to have table manners and I was told, "You can't tell me you don't like something if you've never tried it." If we had dinner with others, I was warned in advance, "Eat what's put in front of you and don't complain." Dads back then tried to teach their kids to be "tough." Oh, sure, sometimes it wasn't the right kind. No, Dad, don't teach them to fight. But they tried to teach us to be brave, to be strong, to try not to complain or cry too much. You get the idea. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you get the idea and are appalled by it.

Today, you see, it's a different world. Kids should not have to suffer. Pain is bad. (Our school coaches told us, "No pain, no gain.") "You are the most important thing in the world" is the message both implied and preached. Parents defend their kids against teachers who suggest they should have done their homework and, since they didn't, there should be a penalty. In our world the school authorities are loaded with all the responsibility of teaching kids with none of the authority or tools to maintain the discipline required. We no longer require our kids to eat what is put in front of them or bear up under difficulties. No more "please" and "thank you" -- once called ... get this ... "common courtesy." Yeah, right. The latest generations have been taught to be selfish and shallow.

Is this how we've arrived where we're at? No one should be offended. No one should be perturbed. We ban "Merry Christmas" because someone somewhere doesn't like the term, so no one is allowed to use it in public. We ask police officers to leave Starbucks because a customer is feeling uncomfortable. We fire people for suggesting that science holds only two sexes. We are required to go to the least common denominator -- the place where no one is offended -- putting an end to dialog, discussion, or meaningful disagreement. If you are offended by this, well, that's too bad. Get over it.

I think we've done this to ourselves.

Well, Merry Christmas to all! If you're offended, I apologize ... but I don't withdraw the wish for you.