Where is Love?

Love is defined in various ways. "I love pizza" is not the same as "I love my dog" or "I love my wife." But, for the most part, we see it as "warm affection." And I'd suggest that is all well and good, but not biblical. Biblical love is something else entirely.

Paul, in correcting mistakes of the church at Corinth, tells them they're misguided on the gifts of the Spirit. He explains that all gifts are from the Spirit and are for the common good (1 Cor 12). He says they should "earnestly desire the greater gifts" and follows that thought with "And I show you a still more excellent way." (1 Cor 12:31). What way?

Paul explains that all the "greater gifts" without love are useless. Worse than useless. Annoying, unfulfilling, empty (1 Cor 13:1-3). Having established the necessity of love over gifts, he goes on to offer the famous description of love. Lots of people, even unbelievers, have heard it. They make wedding songs out of it.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. (1 Cor 13:4-8)

Read that list and answer some questions for yourself. How does that list of descriptive items compare with our current cultural view of "love"? What part of these items are based on emotion? Many today link "love" with sex. Can you find that link here? Some modern marriage vows include "til love does us part" and people commonly "fall out of love". How do these ideas fit in with "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails"? We are told that if you love someone you will embrace them, sin and all, and accept them for who they are. How does that correlate with "does not rejoice in unrighteousness"?

If you're paying attention, I think you can see in this description that feelings have nothing to do with this kind of love. This love is a choice, an act of obedience, a constant decision. It is clearly based outward -- a focus on the loved one -- rather than our rule of thumb -- a focus on me. Without this version of love even the gifts of the Spirit are useless. What about the rest of the things we do?

It's not really that hard. Love is a choice we make to seek the best for others at our own expense. It doesn't embrace sin, but doesn't reject the sinner. It is not self-seeking. (That's actually a quote from the text.) It isn't an emotion.

We understand love to be an emotion. We're mistaken. Love is a choice. Liking someone is chemistry, but love is something we do, not feel. The interesting truth is that when we treat people this way, that "warm affection" that we've come to associate with love is the result. But it's the result, not the cause. This kind of love is the mark of true Christianity (John 13:35). Now, ask yourself: Is that the kind of love I have toward God and my neighbor?