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Wednesday, February 01, 2017

Please Don't Love Me

Watch just about any movie or TV show these days and you're going to encounter it. He (or she) does something horrible to her (or him). She (or he) confronts the bad person. "Oh, baby," he (or she) will answer, "I love you!" How does that work? In what world is doing a nasty turn, cheating, abusing, misusing, or otherwise being unkind or cruel equate to "love"? If that's your idea of love, please, don't love me.

It is the standard line so many times. It is most often associated with guys using it on girls, but, thanks to feminism, girls are getting just as bad. You know the line. "If you loved me, you'd ____." That blank is whatever the speaker is trying to get from the listener. Not give to. Not do for. The conclusion is always the same. "If you love me you'll do whatever I want you to without regard to your principles or preferences." If that's your idea of love, please, don't love me.

We have a strange view of love these days. Kids think that if their parents loved them, they'd let them do whatever they wanted. This is patently foolish. If "whatever they wanted" was to run out in front of a car or break the law (as a couple of examples), love would demand intervention. But we're pretty sure it just means letting them do what they want. Our society equates love and sex, as if they are at least nearly synonymous. But everyone knows that sex has no requirement for love, so why have we bought that nonsense?

Love always seeks the very best for the loved one. Often that's delightful. Sometimes it's unpleasant. Love isn't just "warm feelings". It's an "other interest".

It is my intention to love God and love my neighbor. It is my aim that this love is the kind the Bible talks about (1 Cor 13:4-8, for instance). It's not always a warm, fuzzy kind (Heb 12:4-8), but it is always with the best interests of others in mind. If your love is that kind, then by all means I'll take it. If not, please don't love me.

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