Mother's Day, 2014

It's Mother's Day. I have to talk about my mother. No, I don't "have to" because it's required. I have to because she is so remarkable.

It is often hard to measure the influence people have had on one's life. We have been influenced by acquaintances without knowing it. Passing remarks, even from strangers, can produce effects of which we aren't even aware. Factor in memory -- "Now who was it that taught me ...?" -- and determining influential people in your life can be difficult.

In my case, it's not. Without hesitation I can say that the most influential person in my life has been my mother. Now, to be sure, most of us would have to say that. Mothers are generally a major influence in anyone's life. Mine, however, has been a profound influence.

It was my mother that taught me as a child that obedience was better than sin, that truth was found in the Word, that love was something more profound than warm feelings. She taught me the truth, and she didn't simply tell me; she lived it. I'm reminded of Timothy, whose mother, Eunice, taught him a sincere faith by living it in front of him (2 Tim 1:5).

Proverbs 31 speaks of an "excellent wife" (Prov 31:10-31). She is precious (v 10), trustworthy (v 11), does good and not harm (v 12), works with her hands (v 13), provides food for her household (v 15), is strong (v 17), industrious (v 18-19), prepared and unafraid (v 21). I like this particular phrase: "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come" (Prov 31:25). These all describe my mother.

Beyond the direct efforts, my mother influenced the rest of my influences. My mother's words and example influenced my choices of teachers and preachers, friends and the ones I did not have, the courses of action and thought processes. She taught me to think, to be responsible, to be courageous, to be honest. She taught me to be prepared to give an answer, but with gentleness and respect. These, in turn, directed other parts of my life, deciding who else would be allowed to influence me and who would not and what else I would accept as truth and what I would not.

There is one aspect that is interesting to me, one thing my mother never taught me. She never taught me what it was like to have a dysfunctional family life. I don't know by experience what it is like to be abandoned, unloved, or spurned by parents. When I was good, my mother loved me. When I was bad (and I have been very bad), my mother loved me. When I said wise things, she praised me, and when I said foolish things, she lovingly corrected me. (I like that I put that in past tense, as if I don't say foolish things anymore and she no longer has occasion to correct me. It isn't true, but I like it just the same.)

I can't tell you how many times I've known people who, upon meeting my mother, have said, "Oh, that's where you get it!" I think that's an example of my mother's influence. She didn't simply teach me by word, but by deed, and I didn't simply learn information, I learned character. I am what I am because of my mother first.

There is no bigger influence in my life than my mother save that of Christ Himself. She was the one most present in my formative years, the one most forward in teaching me the truth, the one most obvious in living a visible life as a follower of Christ. In my later years she is not only my mother, but a dear friend and respected counselor. Many people have been good influences on me, but she has been the one of the two primary (the other being my father), so she has been the biggest influence. Of the Proverbs 31 "excellent wife" it is said, "Her children rise up and call her blessed" (Prov 31:28). This child rises up and calls his mother blessed. Happy Mother's Day, Mom.