A pregnant woman was stoned to death Tuesday by her own family outside a courthouse in the Pakistani city of Lahore for marrying the man she loved.This will not be pretty. Well, maybe. I'm never quite sure whether it's politically correct to condemn Islamic practices. But I would think it wouldn't be pretty. I would think that this would cause outrage around the world. Especially here in the U.S. Because as everyone knows, it is a God-given right to marry the one you love. Even atheists know that. No one gets to tell you who to marry. Indeed, you'll hear that from Christians as well. It is an outrage. God wants us to marry who we love. (Never mind the problems that principle causes when "the one we love" happens to be the same gender.)
Interesting thing, though. For Christians you won't find that in the Bible. What you'll find is either silence (we don't know how most couples were joined in Scripture) or an arranged marriage. When there are exceptions, they are ... exceptional. Jacob, for instance, left home. He fell in love with Rachel and worked 7 years to marry her, but her father substituted Leah, her sister. Because in the Bible marriages were arranged and parents had the final say. So Jacob worked another 7 years for Rachel and we get our love story, but it's still filled with "arranged". In fact, while Isaac didn't select a wife for Jacob, he did instruct him to choose one from Laban's family (Gen 28:1-2). Not exactly the "marry the one you love" approach.
Take the biggest marriage in all of Scripture as an example. Revelation in multiple places describes the Bride of Christ, the Church (Rev 19:7; 21:9; 22:17). That's certainly the biggest marriage -- the marriage of Christ. Guess what? It is an arranged marriage. Jesus said, "All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and whoever comes to Me I will never cast out" (John 6:37). So the Bride of Christ consists of those whom the Father gives, not the ones whom the Son loves.
Now, of course, the Son loves the Bride, and this points to what we do find in Scripture regarding love and marriage. We do find the command that husbands must love their wives (Eph 5:25; Col 3:19) and wives are to love their husbands (Titus 2:3-4). Interesting, though, that this love doesn't precede marriage. Interesting, also, that love is commanded. If love is something you "fall into", in what sense can it be commanded?
Something else is missing in Scripture. You will not find a dating structure. Now, this would make sense because, after all, most marriages were arranged in the Bible. But it should serve to point out that dating was not God's best choice for obtaining a mate.
What do I conclude from all this? As it turns out, not as much as you might think. Is dating evil? No. I would suggest that today's version, where guys and girls are jumping from person to person in an effort to find "the one" by sampling many and seeking self-gratification is a foolish approach. I would suggest that a deep and constant involvement of parents is extremely important. And I would definitely oppose the "dating as a missionary" concept or, worse, the idea of seeking to marry "the one I love" in direct opposition to biblical instructions like "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers" (2 Cor 6:14). I would warn people who are attempting to date or court that sex is reserved for marriage, that love is commanded for the married, and that commitment and shared purpose are more important than romance. And, to be honest, I would love to see loving Christian parents arranging wise unions for their obedient, loved children. Yeah, I can dream, can't I? I suppose, then, that my point is to warn Christians not to find a "right to marry the one I love" where it can't be found. It is outrageous that a family killed their pregnant daughter for marrying the man she loved, but it's not outrageous because she loved him. It is an outrage against the Most High to murder two humans in the name of "honor".
4 comments:
The only way it would cause outrage is if Christians did it, and they were gay. In fact if that were to happen, a long sought after authentic martyr would be born... or, ahhh, killed.
Remember, the definition of Islam in the NWOAD. It is redeemed of his murderous violence because of its hatred of Christianity.
Interesting points. Actually all marriages between a man and woman are arranged by God. Matt 19:6, "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." Two men will always be two different fleshes.
That said, Jesus got the rawest of all raw deals in His marriage arrangement. In fact, most first century Jewish marriages were arranged by the Erusin tradition, which you are probably familiar with. The son sits across a table from his prospective bride while the father stands next to him. Father pours a glass of wine and puts it before his son, who offers it as his covenant to the bride to be. She can push it back (saying No, thanks) or take a sip and push it back (Yes). The groom then drinks the cup of wine. This is what Jesus was alluding to when He spoke of "Must I drink this cup?"
So in Christianity God assigns us His Son as our groom. In Islam, the collective can only approve another Muslim. If a sister marries a Christian or member of another faith, they have to punish her, often by stoning. Christianity is family, Islam is politics. All of Islam's edicts are political. Islam fools people into serving their "honor" (a fruit of the self) while Christianity saves souls. That's why a Christian will pray for and still love a sister who strays from the faith. Reconciliation rather than elimination.
I don't know, Jim. I would be very cautious accusing the Father of giving the Son "the rawest of all raw deals".
That the Son of God would die for me is a raw deal.. for Him. Yes, I must stand by my statement.
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