Modern Family it is not

Well, folks, we've lost it. This is what is passing for "a good idea".

A website called Modamily, a combination of "modern" and "family", is offering "co-parenting" connections. No, not couples. It's not a "dating" site or the place to meet your next ex. Well, here's what the website says about itself:

We noticed a good portion of family and friends spending their 20s and 30s focused on their careers and putting off marriage and children.Yet, as they approached 40, especially in the case of female friends, there came an enormous amount of pressure for finding a partner, often resulting in rushed marriages ending in divorce.

It was even more disheartening when a child was introduced because now that child would often have to be raised in an environment of friction where mommy and daddy did not get along. I felt there had to be another viable option that could protect against these problems. Hence, co-parenting.

That's the idea. No, don't get married. Get pregnant. By all means, focus solely on yourself for your first, what, 20 years of so-called adulthood and then, when you feel "an enormous amount of pressure" to have a child, find a baby daddy to do the job. After all,

All a child needs to develop and grow is attention, encouragement and love.

My heart broke when I saw this story. They interviewed a 42-year-old mother of two, both fathered by different fathers neither of whom were even expecting to be married to her. The first father was long out of the picture. The father of the younger one, a 4-year-old girl, said without regret, "I'm turning 67 next year; it's time for me to go." That was fine because she was looking for her next baby-daddy to father her next child. And I thought, "But ... what about that 4-year-old girl? How is it good, wise, or safe to send her father out the door to be replaced temporarily by a new one for the next child? What are you teaching your children???!"

"Mommy, where's daddy?"

"Sorry, honey, we had to let that one go. He was too old and we wanted a younger one for the next baby."

"But what about my daddy."

"Don't worry. The next one won't last much longer than yours. We didn't really care about him anyway."

"But ... I did."

It's called "a modern family unit", contrasted with "a traditional one". Family is not actually involved. Indeed, children are not actually the point. Mom felt "an enormous amount of pressure", so she satisfied her urgings without having to fall back on any sort of commitment, effort, even an attempt at a sustained relationship. The children are not the point. The fathers are not the point. Family is not the point. She is. As the Cosmo story puts it, "New Site Matches Co-Parents: No Love Or Sex Necessary." No love or sex necessary. And this they deem "family".

"All a child needs to develop and grow is attention, encouragement and love," says the founder, Ivan Fatovic. Well, those are all good, but family would be better. A married mother and father would be better. Parents who demonstrate love and self-sacrifice and commitment would be better. In fact, a parent who loves a child rather than chooses first to love herself would be a good thing. But in today's world perhaps I'm asking for too much.