From a Facebook status of a self-labeled "Christian" friend: "Divorce court tomorrow. I'm nervous. Hope it goes smoothly." The replies from her friends included "Good luck!", "I'll keep you in my prayers", and "Praying you'll have peace". Scanning ... scanning ... no, not one, "What are you thinking??!! Don't you know that God hates divorce? Aren't you aware of the damage it does to yourself, your spouse, your children, to marriage in general, and to any sort of Christian witness?" Nothing even along the lines of "Oh, how sad." Nothing even remotely like it.
What's up with that? Why is it that the "support" people -- even Christian people -- tend to offer in situations like this is more along the lines of "You're better off" and "It will all be okay" instead of ... oh, I don't know ... the truth? Do they not know the truth? (It's biblical, sure, but it's also a matter of studies as well.) Do they not love enough to tell the truth? What's wrong with this picture?
6 comments:
I understand your point. I have always preferred to see the divorces of friends as unfortunate events that should be put off, and the problems within the marriage resolved. Even in situations where I thought the marriage should never have taken place, my hope had been that the couple work through any issues like they vowed to do. That vow says, "For better or worse..." not "For better or worse unless it's REALLY bad." "Worse" indicates as bad as it might get. Everyone digs the "better", but won't stand for any of the "worse".
I always thought "'Til death us do part" meant a lot longer than "'Til it gets uncomfortable."
Read your next post for a thorough explanation. :)
It is (to me) an interesting thing. When Paul told Timothy (as in the next post) that people would be "heartless" (in the ESV, or "unloving" in the NAS), the word he used was astorge -- "not storge". Now, the Greek storge is one of their words for "love" and references common, natural affection, such as familial affection, a mother's love, that kind of thing. Tie together "lovers of self", "ungrateful", "without natural affection", "unappeasable", "without self-control", and "lovers of pleasure", and I suppose you're right. We have the explanation for the rampant divorce and the apparent inability to see such as a problem.
What was the reason for the divorce?
God had a very good reason for divorcing Israel. It is what causes the divorce that is the sin. If this particular divorce was only because they looked at each other and decided, "I don't love you anymore." That is the disobedient child at the height of disobedience. That is a rejection of the Holy Spirit and God which requires much prayer of the Christian siblings, much counseling as in Matthew 15:17-18
If the reason was adultery, then there is deep regret and empathy that must come from Christian siblings as well as counseling for forgiveness of the offender.
The backstory, Rocky Garden, is crushing. Hallelujah, God forgives!!!! Hallelujah, the broken are still usable in God's Army. Hallelujah, the violence caused by divorce can be overcome and healed by God Himself when the ear of the believer is tuned to His voice.
The reason for the divorce, for the purposes of my point, is irrelevant. God divorced Israel for "adultery", but that didn't make it "okay" or "good" or "pleasant". Israel was not "better off". Divorce, even for adultery, is bad. I don't necessarily mean morally bad. I mean harmful, unpleasant, sad.
(And the reason was essentially that they "fell out of love".)
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