I come from an older generation. When we were kids, we went to church with our parents. We sat quietly and listened or doodled or something, but we sat there. I remember when I was ten or eleven I complained to my parents that I didn't understand what the preacher was saying. The answer was not "You know, I think they need a special service for kids." It was "Why don't you write down the things you don't understand and we can talk about them after." Think about that. Now I had to really listen to put something down that was coherent or I'd be admitting that I had either lied or wasn't paying attention. Clever.
Today, of course, it's not an issue. I find it rare that churches expect children to remain in the service. Some don't let them in at all. More often they let them in for the singing portion but have them leave before the preaching begins. To me it's an interruption. In the midst of setting the stage, of focusing the attention, of tuning the heart and mind, suddenly we hear something like, "Let's greet one another while the kids are dismissed to their classrooms" or the like. Wait, weren't we building to something here? And why are these kids asked to leave?
I don't believe it's because the kids won't understand the preaching. I think it's because the kids will disrupt the preaching. I don't think it's because the children aren't mature enough to understand. Nor do I think it is less than valuable for them to remain. It's my conviction that the primary reason children are dismissed from church services at the edge of the sermon is that they lack the discipline not to be a distraction to the people around them. It's not a maturity problem or even that kids are better taught at their own age level. It's a parenting problem.
I'm not suggesting that we stop the practice. I am suggesting that clearly something has changed in the past 30 years that wasn't the case before that, and I am suggesting that parents are not being taught how to train up their children. Maybe, just maybe, if we started working on that problem we could move toward a church service where kids are taught to the same depth that their parents are taught. Of course, that's an entirely different problem, isn't it?
6 comments:
We have always been against the idea of age-segregation at church. This happened when the churches decided to start imitating the public school system of peer orientation. And part of the problem is that few families nowadays exercise any discipline with their children, so that the children have no decorum in public.
Our children always sat with us in the service and from the time they could walk and talk they were taught proper behavior, and were never disruptive in church. They may not have understood everything as they were growing up, but they got used to the idea about what "church" was.
Children nowadays are too long fed "milk" while they play at being in public school. There is no excuse for not having at least teenagers in the service with adults, since by that time they should be ready for the meat.
On the other hand, since so many adults are spoon-fed milk in church, I don't suppose that getting ready for meat will make much difference, will it?
Ya got a point thar!
Our church is having a major influx on new members, and by new members I mean newborns. We've had like 6 or 7 in the last 13 months. They are getting to that distracting point, so we set up 2 sets of rows in the back of the sanctuary so that parents can teach their children about proper decorum while not distracting others. Our goal is to get the children into church, not into their own room. I'm sure our church size is a contributing factor to our ability to do this, which again reinforces my love for a small church.
You know, under the age of 1 with nursing and all, I can imagine the need for a nursery. I was thinking more of the age where kids are being taught, not simply present.
We have a "cry room" to the side of our auditorium, where moms can nurse their babies and moms and dads can care for the little ones. The top half is glass and there are speakers inside, so they can still be part of the group
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