I am from southern California. I no longer live there, but I was used to it. I was used to the pace and the traffic, the crowds and the climate. I was used to the brats, the proper description for essentially every child I came across from 2 to 22. It's just the way it was. I live in Arizona now, not California.
I took my lunchtime walk the other day. Nice day. 72° and sunny. Narrow sidewalk, but no problem because there wasn't much foot traffic there ... ever. I heard a noise behind me and turned around. There was a young boy, maybe 10 or 11, on a bicycle moving slowly toward me. Now, I didn't mind that he was on the sidewalk. There was no bike lane and I didn't see any point in him risking life and limb to avoid getting in the way of the single pedestrian visible for miles. So I stopped and moved off the sidewalk to let him by. He looked up at me and said "Sorry" followed by a "Thank you" as he pedaled past me. Being from SoCal, I was shocked. Courtesy? From a child?! Without parental prompting?!!
It reminded me of an event a few years back near my house. A gaggle of young boys were playing in the wash behind my house, doing their best to kill and dismember a dead tree. Now, the wash is federal land, protected from abuse. So I went out there and told the boys, "You know, it isn't my problem, but this land is federal land and it is illegal to damage anything out here." Being even closer to SoCal then, I was not in the least expecting the response I got. I was used to the 4-year-old who would stare at me for such a statement as if to say, "You're daft, old man. Get out of my way." I was ready for these preteens to give me the standard, "Who cares what you think?" What I was not prepared for was their actual response. "Really? Oh, we're sorry. We didn't know that. Gee (yes, "gee"), we could really get into trouble for this. Thanks for telling us. It won't happen again." And they headed off, never to be seen in there again.
These serve to remind me that all is not black. I believe in Total Depravity, but that doesn't mean "Man is as evil as he can possibly be". And while it is my nature and even nurture (from southern California experience) to be cynical, I am reminded from time to time that not all kids are brats, not all parents are irrelevant, and not all courtesy is lost, even if it's no longer as common. Thanks, kid. I'm aware again.
5 comments:
For what it's worth, a prayer I wrote based on an experience I had last year...
I saw you today, God.
As an elderly lady walked through my
Urban neighborhood
She tripped and fell
Spilling the contents of her purse.
From nowhere, a thug appeared -
Hoodie hiding his face
Prison tattoos scarring his knuckles
Pants sagging nearly to his knees
He quickly reached down and grabbed her purse and...
...and gently assisted her to her feet, returning her purse and
Tenderly wiping the dust from her clothes and
Tending to her as if she were his own grandmother
As if she were the Daughter of God
As if he were the Son of God.
Thank you God, for
Sudden moments of off-guard joy and
Gentle rebukes from
Unknown and intimidating saints.
Amen.
Good reminder, thanks Stan.
Stan,
Why were you surprised that the kid said "Gee..." way back when? I heard that in the 50's that was a pretty common saying...
Does that fall under humor? Hmmm...
That's why it surprised me. It was a '50's term, but not a 21st century term. The kid said it just a few years ago. (I was under the impression that most kids his age had surrendered to profanity in place of "gee".)
In my current unfortunate economic circumstance, my part-time, stop-gap measure of a job puts me in daily contact with kids from K-8 grade (school bus driver). I greet every kid every day when we meet and wish them a good day when we part. Well over half say nothing. Ever. Unless I must speak directly to one of them for sme reason they cannot avoid, I get no response whatsoever. It makes the polite kids all the more a blessing to be around.
Last school year, I had to deal with one girl who would never respond to my greetings and when I had not choice but to compel her to speak due to some circumstance, she'd respond as if I had shot her dog, as if I was out of line for daring to insist on speaking to her.
Some kids are just shy, especially the little ones. I get that. But of the older, middle school kids, it's fairly easy to imagine which are shy and which have bad attitudes. They just don't feel the need to return simple, non-committing courtesies. That I DON'T get. Must be a "cool" thing.
Earlier in the week, a particular girl who ignores my pleasantries, left a pencil case on the bus. Naturally, I kept it for the next day, rifled through it to see if I could identify the owner (and perhaps make a few bucks---kidding) and found her ID and a number of things, beyond just pencils, that, by virtue of their being saved in the case, had some value to her. When she boarded the next day, I said, "Sabrina!" in a manner suggesting that she should stop and say "What?" which she did. Not "Hi!", but "What?" I asked, "How are you today?" She said simply, "Fine." "Are you sure?" She nodded. I said, "I have something for you." and handed her the case. I think she said "Thank you" but I'm not quite certain. Dropping her off at the end of the day and since, no further responses to my greetings. I look right at these kids when I greet them. There's no mistaking that I'm talking directly to them. It's not the short bus, so there should be few with issues beyond their own poor attitudes.
Those who respond are special. Even the wise-guys. They're special because they are so few. One kindergarden girl responds well. I'll say, "Good morning. How are you?" "Fine. How are you?" "Fine. It's good to see you." "It's good to see you, too." I love this kid, though I think if I said, "You look like a poodle", she'd say, "Thanks. You look like a poodle, too." but at least she's trying to be courteous.
Some say adults always say the same thing, that kids are different than the old days. I don't know. Seems a lot different to me. I think they are the result of parents who's standards dropped from the previous generation. Think of it. A lot of today's parents are the hippies of the last generation with a bunch of goofy notions about being their kid's pal. It sounds strange to say, but even when we were being disrespectful to adults, we were still respectful. That is, our tendency was respect and our disrespect was a matter of willfull disregard for their "rank". Now it seems the tendency is no respect and I think there's something about the way they are being raised that is very different from when I was their age.
Stan,
You missed my (obviously not too funny) humor. I was implying that it was during the 50's when you caught the kids...so it was still during the time when "Gee" was accepted. Get it? If you were an adult in the 50's you were likely born in the 30's and thus really, really old. Hahahahahahahahaha! Pretty funny, huh? Okay, I'm leaving now...
Post a Comment