One commenter asked me if words can change their meaning over time. Of course they can. The problem is that communication becomes imperiled when they do if we're not careful. Let me give you a fictional exchange and see if you can understand my dilemma.
I'm at a gathering of some sort ... you know, an ice breaker. A guy comes up to me and we strike up a conversation. He tells me he's married. Okay, here's what I know about this guy. He is connected to a woman who lives in the same house as he does and sleeps in the same bed with him. He is actively involved in advancing the needs of our society by making a permanent home, a stable environment suitable for the rearing of children. He either already has children or will have children barring any unforeseen, unfortunate event that might prevent it because children are the natural and right result of marriage. He will be married to this same woman for the rest of his or her life because marriage is "'til death do us part."
"Oh, no," he tells me, " I meant the more modern term."
Oh, I'm sorry. My mistake. Now what do I know? Well, he is connected to a woman who likely lives in the same house he does and shares his bed. They may or may not have children in mind. Lots of people these days have decided that children can be an unpleasant by-product of marriage. And I can't really say for how long he'll be with this woman because the divorce rate is something over 50% by now.
"No," he corrects me again, "I meant in the June, 2008 sense."
Oohhhh, I'm so sorry. I completely misunderstood. I've got it now. He is a guy who is connected in some sense or another to another person. Children aren't really a consideration in the question. And who knows how long this relationship will last. Essentially, then, I only know that he's a guy ... wait. Maybe I'd better ask about that ...
You see, as the longstanding, traditional definition of marriage has deteriorated, so has its usefulness. As we expand the meaning of a word, we tend to end up making it mean less and less because it has too many meanings to be of any value. When marriage meant a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman that would in all probability include children, there was meaning ... and value. Now? Not so much. And as the word has deflated in meaning, we've lost the ability to properly communicate the original intent. So how is this progress?
5 comments:
This is good. Can I cross post it if I reference it?
Sure thing, von. Anything for my friends.
Why is the number of definitions used to determine “value” of a word? I am not even sure how one “values” a word--is “quidnunc” more valuable than “set” due to the limited number of used definitions?
As for me—my marriage has “value and meaning” (as near as I can tell how to use those words when it comes to marriage) based upon the depth of my relationship with my wife. Not how society (with no-fault divorce) views it. Not on who can or cannot get married.
I am surprised you let society dictate what you hold dear. Is it that important to you what a society uses as a definition for letters in the order of m-a-r-r-i-a-g-e?
We've talked about this in the past. I'm talking about communication, not the value I place on marriage. Words are shorthand. As in this entry, "marriage" has a meaning that I outlined in the theoretical conversation. But if that word doesn't mean what I thought it meant, the shorthand breaks down. After awhile, the shorthand becomes meaningless.
At this point, it would seem like the best thing for me to do when conversing with someone I don't know would be to ask lengthy, specific questions rather than aim at the socially-accepted shorthand because when it comes to the word "marriage", "I do not think that word means what you think it means" anymore.
Quite true Stan.
Cross posted to my blog.
Thx.
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