An Unexpected Ignition

Growing up, I was taught that if someone you know was in an accident, you don't ask, "How bad was it?" You ask, "Are you okay?" That's so they know you're more concerned about the person than the event. I was taught when a woman says, "What do you think of my new dress?" a suitable answer is, "It's nice," but a better answer is, "It looks good on you" because the real aim is that she knows she looks good, not just the dress. And we've all heard "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me" and we've all learned that's not true at all. Because what you say has very real effects.

James wrote, "We all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well" (James 3:2). It turns out, the Bible is full of stuff on the problem of the tongue ... on the problem of communication.

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Prov 12:18)

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Eph 4:29)

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! (Psa 141:3)

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Prov 15:1)

I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. (Matt 12:36-37)

And that's just a few blatant examples. I don't know about you, but I'm sensing a trend here. One account says that, while there are over 60 references to sexual sin in the Bible, there are hundreds of references to the sins of the mouth. In fact, Jesus said, "What comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person" (Matt 15:18). So what's the problem here? The heart. And, Paul wrote, "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal" (1 Cor 13:1). There's a secret there, isn't there? It's not the eloquence or the speech as much as the motivation. When we communicate, are we motivated by love?

When we speak, you see, we're speaking "out." That is, we're taking what's inside and putting it outside. What we're not doing enough is considering the "out" first. We're not considering the listener. We tend to be slow to hear, quick to speak, and quick to anger (as opposed to James 1:19). James compares our tongues to a fire starter. He says, "The tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell" (James 3:5-6). And not in a good way. Perhaps we should consider David's prayer: "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer" (Psa 19:14). Perhaps we should pay a lot more attention to our speech ... online and in person.