As reported earlier, my father passed away recently. So I have a memorial service to go to and I have caring people offering me condolences -- "We're sorry for your loss." That's all fine. But it's interesting. My mother keeps correcting them. "Don't be sorry! He's with Jesus now! He's experiencing perfect delight! And I have Jesus with me! Nothing to be sorry about!" That's my mother.
I think we get confused about death and mourning. Mourning the dead person is pointless because ... they're dead. I don't think we really do that much. Well, we comfort ourselves with "She's in a better place" even if she lived a life deserving only hell, but, really, what we're mourning is not the dead person, but our own loss. It is, basically, quite selfish. Does that make it wrong? I don't think so. Jesus said, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted" (Matt 5:4). That's not "Confused are those who mourn" or "Selfish are those who mourn." Blessed. Why? Because in our mourning we receive comfort. Jesus, of course, was speaking most specifically of spiritual mourning, of mourning our own poor spirit (Matt 5:3), we who suffer from "hunger and thirst for righteousness" (Matt 5:6). That's true. But recognizing that there is pain in the absence of a loved one is not sinful. And recognizing it in others is commanded. "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep," Paul wrote (Rom 12:15). So mourning the loss of a loved one isn't sin; it's expected, and God offers comfort.
I'll miss my dad, to be sure. "Oh," some tell me, "you'll see him again." Probably, but, to be honest, if I am loving Christ as I am commanded to (Matt 10:37), my greatest joy in heaven will not be found in reuniting with loved ones. It will be to fall at Jesus's feet ... for a few thousand years or so. And it's not like my father isn't with me anymore. I have his words, his example, the lessons he taught me in word and deed. Funny how God calls those to mind when I need them. So I will mourn a while my loss of my father, but I am promised comfort and that's good enough for me. I will find my full satisfaction in Christ.
3 comments:
I've had similar discussions with my nieces after their mom and grandmother died. (My sister and my mom) While I completely agree with you that our primary focus after death will be taken up by the presence of YHWH. I can't help but think that part of the experience will involve reuniting with family and friends. I'll be honest and say that I don't know how it works. However, I can't imagine that YHWH would establish something as central to His creation and that is used as an example of our relationship with Him, as the family without having those relationships continue throughout eternity. I suspect they will be less important as we'll be with YHWH, but I can't/don't want to believe that they won't be a part of our future.
A good reminder that emotions in themselves aren't sinful. Only in where we put our hope within those emotions makes them sinful.
David,
Great point.
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