Sex Sells

I know ... I'm not supposed to ask this. It's not "Christian." I, of course, would disagree, but I understand. Still, I'm going to ask, primarily because I'd guess most of us don't really know the answer. What is the definition of "sex"? Not as in "gender" -- male or female -- but in terms of the act.

Here's what we know. Sex outside of marriage is sin. Okay, settled. Except no one is saying just what "sex" is in that context. I'm thinking, for instance, of the classic "bases" we learned when we were teens. First base is holding hands, second base is "above the waist," third base is "below the waist," and home base is sexual intercourse. Given that structure, when have two people engaged in "sex"? Obviously "home base" is a given, but what about, say, holding hands? Second base? Where is the line? Some argue that sex begins at penetration. Those, then, assure us that having oral sex is not sex ... except you can't call it "oral sex" and say it's not sex, can you? So it's somewhat dicey. One article I read said it can be anything from penetration on out to cuddling. In fact, sex may not even include another person. So it can get really baffling trying to determine what is or is not "sex."

Besides the stupid "titillating" that occurs in such a question, there are real issues. For instance, Jesus said, "Whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery" (Matt 19:9). So, your definition of "sexual immorality" will be important here. "He masturbated, so I can divorce him." "He looked at porn, so I can divorce him." "He lusted after a woman, so I can divorce him." Without a definition, Jesus's primary position -- "What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matt 19:6) -- gets tossed aside by making just about anything ("any cause" (Matt 19:3)) sexual sin. And Paul urges, "Flee from sexual immorality" (1 Cor 6:18). How can we do that if we can't even define it? So I'm not just playing around here. It is significant. I'm also not offering a definition at this point. I'm just asking you to think about it.