Tough Love

Paul's 2nd epistle to Corinth (the second one we have) is largely written to defend his ministry. In the first one he wrote some tough things, like "I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler -- not even to eat with such a one" (1 Cor 5:11) and the amazing, "you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord" (1 Cor 5:5). The letter was full of that kind of stuff. Apparently he wrote a second letter sent between 1 Corinthians and 2 Corinthians which was equally tough. Now, he had planned to visit Corinth on his way to Macedonia and then again when he finished in Macedonia, but he skipped that first one and hadn't yet accomplished the second, and it apparently upset the Corinthian church. So Paul explained. "I made up my mind not to make another painful visit to you," he wrote (2 Cor 2:1), "For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you" (2 Cor 2:4). Paul wrote certainly one and possibly two harsh letters to the church at Corinth. By "harsh" I mean they weren't all rosy and friendly. By "harsh" I mean Paul violated what we might consider civility in order to address very real problems in the church. It hurt Paul to do it ("much affliction and anguish of heart"). But Paul did it for what I think is an unusual reason --- "the abundant love I have for you."

The concept rings strangely in our ears. "To cause pain ... out of abundant love?" In our culture we tend to think that "cause pain" of any sort cannot align with "abundant love." Causing pain is never loving. This, I think you'd have to agree, is the product of very shortsightedness. We all understand if you love your children you will take them to get stuck with needles at the doctor's office so that they won't die from diseases easily prevented ... by causing pain. We can all envision circumstances where it might be necessary to hurt a loved one in order to remedy a problem, like pulling on a broken leg in order to set it properly or taking away some entertainment in order to get them to do their homework. It is obvious when we think about it. Sometimes pain can be lovingly caused for a good reason. In these cases, love demands it. So if we expand our modern "warm affection" definition of love to include "what's best for the loved one," it's not hard to see that sometimes pain is necessary and sometimes avoiding it is not loving.

In the next part of 2 Corinthians Paul outlines the proper procedure in the case of sin in the church. First, there is "punishment enough" from "the majority" (2 Cor 2:6). It is proportionate, aimed, measured, and limited. Next, the one receiving the punishment is also in need of forgiveness and comfort (2 Cor 2:7). The self-righteous have a problem with this, I think. They're happy to inflict punishment but not to let it go. They are swift to see sins in others but not swift to forgive, let alone comfort. Of course, the failure does greater harm to the recipient, causing overwhelming sorrow (2 Cor 2:7). That is not love. There must be recognition of the sin and consequences for it, but it must be ended and then forgiveness and comfort given. The underlying message must be love (2 Cor 2:8) (Note the word "reaffirm" in that verse. Love was there before and it is still active.)

Today's world would like us to wink at sin. "Be more tolerant! Be less judgmental!" Scripture would indicate that this is not love. Love will do what is best for the loved one, even if that can be painful. Even if it causes you pain. This kind of love includes administering consequences, to be sure, but also forgiveness and comfort and, under and through all, love. Our failure to do this puts us in jeopardy of being outwitted by Satan (2 Cor 2:11), and not in a good way.