Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. (Matt 1:18-19)Nothing new there, really. But notice, first, the relationship of Joseph to Mary. She "had been betrothed" to Joseph. Not married. So it might strike you as odd that, when he found out she was pregnant, he "resolved to divorce her quietly." Now, hang on. They weren't married yet. Why divorce? Why not just "break up," end the engagement, whatever we would do today? Apparently, then, marriage was different then than now. So, if marriage in Scripture is a picture of Christ and the Church (Eph 5:31-32), maybe we should get a more robust idea of what that picture looks like ... or would look like if we understood it from the perspective of those who wrote the Bible.
Generally speaking, in biblical times marriages were arranged. Who would marry who, what the bride price would be, and so on would all be determined by the families or their representatives with the consent of the prospective bride. Once the agreement was made, it was binding on bride and groom who would be considered husband and wife without living together. (To end that agreement required a divorce.) The betrothal would include gifts that the groom would send to the bride-to-be beyond the "bride price." (Interestingly, it was also customary for friends of the groom to send gifts -- generally money -- as well.) The groom (or his family), then, pays the "bride price" and he would set about preparing for the bride. Typically he had 12 months. After he prepared for her, he would return to take her home to be his wife. In Israel, the wife was regarded as property (which is bad), but extremely valuable property (which isn't all bad). She was "bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh" (Gen 2:23). Subservient, then, to her husband, still she wasn't isolated like the women of surrounding cultures and would often have considerable influence and freedom. Add to all of this the things we learn from Ephesians 5:22-33, Colossians 3:18-19, and 1 Peter 3:1-7, and we get a more robust version of the relationship between husband and wife than we do in today's society.
It's interesting then, thinking of it as an image of Christ and the Church. It was the Father that sent the Son and the Father that chose the Bride (Eph 1:3-4). The Son visited the Bride and paid the price (Eph 1:7), then returned home to prepare a place for her (John 14:3). He left her with gifts -- the Holy Spirit (John 14:26) and the gifts He gives to each one (1 Cor 12:7). The day is coming when He will return with a shout (1 Thess 4:16; cp Matt 25:6) to take her home with Him to one with Him (John 17:21) to be part of the family (John 1:12) for eternity.
That's just a survey, a quick glance. I think, though, that the picture just got larger. The way in which marriage from betrothal to home-bringing to eternity together paints a much richer image of the relationship of Christ and the Church as His bride. Nice picture. And I know the Artist.
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