(The names and people in this story are fictitious to protect the ... guilty.)
A group of friends were sharing prayer requests. One said, "Pray for my granddaughter. She feels like she doesn't deserve God's love and is very depressed." So they did. And I thought, "But ... she doesn't deserve God's love." And I became concerned that no one in the group seemed to notice. I became concerned for the group.
I get it. "Depressed" is indeed a real problem. That's one of those "demons" that doesn't come out without much prayer. I get it. I'll pray about that. On the other hand, I thought "don't deserve" was at the heart of the Gospel. I thought -- correct me if I'm wrong ... I'm just winging it here -- that "by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast" (Eph 2:8-9). I thought "if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace" (Rom 11:6). I thought "don't deserve" was at the core of grace.
To me, understanding the depths of my sin has enlarged the grace of God. He didn't have to stoop a little to save me. He didn't have to make a couple of minor corrections, a couple of adjustments, forgive a few faux pas. He needed to send His Son (Eph 2:4-5) to live a perfect life and take on Himself my sin and exchange it for His righteousness (2 Cor 5:21). For a righteous and holy God to save someone who is "deserving" or even "mostly okay" is not such a large thing. To save a wretch like me? That's huge.
I didn't pray with them that day. I prayed that God would open her eyes to the fact that she was undeserving and help her to see the vast grace that God gives to the completely undeserving of such a great love and such forgiveness and such mercy. I prayed that He would magnify Himself in her heart to give her maximum gratitude and Him maximum glory. And I prayed that the group would see it, too. Amen.
5 comments:
This is an area where you are theologically correct, and I completely agree with the theology. But, I often think that a theological answer to a pastoral issue isn't always the best first option.
This is one of the things that drove my youngest into a really dark time and I've learned that this is a real issue among our children's generation.
It's vital to address this both by being theologically correct, but also by demonstrating the love of Christ as best we can.
At some point, I need to write about my son's (our family's) story and how God stepped in in tangible and very real ways. However, I've already taken some personal shots about my being the/a cause of it that I'm reluctant to open myself up any further in this setting.
I understand that, Craig. I get that depression is a difficult thing and "You're a sinner!" isn't the best way to deal with depression. (I think there are a LOT of theologically correct answers to questions that do not provide the best approach to counseling people in dire situations. "God causes all things to work together for good" is true, for instance, but not a very helpful statement to the parent who just lost a child in a tragic accident.) I see this kind of theological truth as 1) a prophylactic in a sense that can help ease the attacks before they happen and 2) a buttress to reinforce the truth after the attack has been dealt with. It doesn't comfort the afflicted during the affliction.
And I still pray that folks who are suffering from the weight of sin will see how vast God's grace is in their sin. I still believe that he who is forgiven much loves much.
(And, oh, by the way, "You're the cause of all your kids' problems" is not a helpful approach to a parent with kids who have problems. I am sorry some have given YOU that kind of message.)
I thought we were on the same page, and it appears we are.
Yes, it’s a spectacularly bad thing to say to a parent of a child going through this kind of thing.
I had a similar experience when my one year old nephew began vomiting for the first time. It was at an Easter party. Baby and parents rushed too the hospital while we're all left to pray. Every last one of them prayed that he would recover and everything would be alright. I'm my head,I prayed that if he isn't all right, that everyone would still be able to praise Him. Of course I didn't want to say it, but my worry was that things would not go well if he hadn't recovered. I worry that we are so far removed from true, regular hardship, that the infrequency of unpleasant things happening dampens our view of God's Providence.
I've always thought that it's far too easy to be a Christian when things are going well, but that God does His real, perhaps His best, work when things are falling apart. I suppose some might even find that in Scripture.
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