Being a parent is not an easy thing. There is no actual manual. We get some ideas from the Bible, but how to potty train or how to respond in this situation or that is pretty vague. We might lean on others, either "professionals" or other parental examples, but ultimately the parent is the one that makes the choices and the parent is the one that is responsible. It is often a thankless job. It is often a painful job. And, of course, as is generally true, the more expensive something is, the more precious it is.
Knowing what to say and do and when are difficult things. Perhaps more difficult is knowing what not to say or do. This is particularly difficult for mothers, I think. Their natural nurturing pushes them to be there for everything. Fathers, on the other hand, often fall on the other side of that road. Between work, modern feminism, and other pressures, it's sometimes easier to take a more "hands off" approach. A good father, though, is a rare gem. He knows when to be there (and he's always there in some form or another) and when to take his hands off. You get the picture, I'm sure. There he is running behind his youngster as the tyke is learning to ride a bike. He's got his hand on the back the whole time as little Bobby pedals down the sidewalk gaining momentum and balance. And then, without telling Bobby, he lets go. Bobby is balancing and pedaling on his own. He's doing it! He's riding his bike. He doesn't even know it for some time until he suddenly realizes that Dad is not behind him anymore. And what a thrill! He's riding his bike!!
Being a father is a tough thing. Knowing what to say and do is tough. Knowing what not to say and do is perhaps more difficult. But children need both a "hands on" and "hands off" approach to learn. It's one of the things I deeply appreciate from my own father. He has always provided excellent guidance and training when it was needed and also knew when to let me get into my own trouble (or, less often, have my own success). To me it's one of the things that makes him a standout among fathers. It takes real wisdom to know when to speak and when to be silent, when to act and when to watch. And, let's be honest, watching your kids do foolish things can be very painful. But he has done it masterfully. He has shared his wisdom and borne the pain and continues to be the finest example of a good father that I can find.
Happy Father's Day, Dad!
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