Digital Musings

I hate electronic communication. Okay, maybe that's an overstatement, but ... consider. I was looking at statistics the other day. Ironically, in this society flooded with "social media," over the past 10 years the number of people who feel isolated exceeds 75%. In 2023, the U.S. surgeon general declared loneliness an epidemic. According to a study at Harvard, people between 30 and 44 feel the loneliest ... where 29% said they were "frequently" or "always" lonely. The study said that the #1 cause of this is ... technology ... the very thing that is trying to bring people together. So the time it takes from actual interaction (especially with family, the study says) and the distance it puts in actual connection is a real problem. (Interestingly, the study also cites "No religious or spiritual life" and "too much focus on one's own feelings." That's telling.)

Consider the challenge of communicating via electronic means. We're used to body language. Body language is entirely eliminated. We're unconsciously aware of context, but electronic communications operate in small bytes. (Sorry ... bad joke.) Small bits. (Not getting better.) Add in "autocorrect" and typos. Subtract emotional content. Throw in the delays between interactions, making us lose track of context and content, essentially starting a conversation new ... in the middle of the conversation. And factor in the serious lack of accountability ... oh ... and the problem of humor. (Humor is often built on incongruity and misdirection, completely confusing without visual cues, tone of voice, facial expressions, etc.) Frankly, remaining "personal" in a medium that is, by definition, impersonal is a very difficult thing to do.

Some years ago my son and I were having an email dialog. I said something that was intended as humor and entirely sarcastic. We would have laughed about it if we were talking face to face. He would have seen me, heard me, known me ... it would have been ... humorous. He took offense. "Why would you say something like that??!" I was surprised because, of course, I never intended it to be understood as he did. So I responded. "Read it again. Think about who is saying it. Hear it in your father's voice ... from your father's lips ... with your dad's facial expressions." I didn't need to explain further. He responded, "Oh! Yeah! Sorry ..." Because digital communications are so difficult. So I wonder why I keep writing this blog sometimes. It's so easy to be misunderstood. It's so easy to be labeled and mischaracterized. It's so easy to upset people with things that, if properly heard and understood, they'd agree with. And, of course, it's so easy for some people to be cruel and abusive when they're confident there is no accountability ... people who would never be that cruel and abusive if they were speaking to your face. Sometimes ... I wonder.