Philip Yancey wrote Where Is God When It Hurts?, a book examining suffering and pain in the believer's life. A lot of people ask the question in some form or another. It feels like, when things hurt, He's far off. Not paying attention. It feels like He's being capricious or just doesn't care. So ... what does Scripture say?
Who can forget David's bold claim, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and your staff, they comfort me" (Psa 23:4)? Paul wrote, "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Rom 8:38-39). Hebrews says, "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Heb 13:5), which is a quote from the Old Testament (Deut 31:6; Josh 1:5; 1 Chron 28:20). It is, in fact, a "double negative," not in the sense of a positive, but in the vein of "never, never." Emphatic. Jesus was called "Immanuel" (Matt 1:23), meaning "God with us," because He's always with us.
You can see, then, a trend. We think that God ... comes and goes. He gets close and then far. He's paying attention and then He's not. It feels that way. It's ... not ... true. He ... never ... leaves. So ... where is God when it hurts? Right there ... right alongside. Never far. Never distant. Never negligent. The sooner we realize this, the better off we'll be. The author of Hebrews says that because He has promised to never, never leave us, "we can confidently say, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?'" (Heb 13:6). Now isn't that exactly what we need when times are tough?
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I was just listening to a de-transitioner explaining his finding Christ and how he feels closest to Christ in the Catholic Church. On the one hand, I was glad to hear of his turning toward the Truth. However, he kept mentioning how he was hunting for those close feelings with Jesus. And I couldn't help but be worried for him, because that simply isn't something we as sinners can maintain. We all have times of feeling far from God, typically because of our actions. But we too often base our belief on our feelings, which is why we need to keep connected through the Word, prayer, and the church, to reassure ourselves in those dark times of His closeness.
My family and I have been going through a fairly lengthy period of disappointment of late. Intellectually I know that YHWH is sovereign and that we are in His hands. Yet, I would still appreciate some sense of His presence or some positive thing to hold on to. I know that it's not all about feelings, but at some point it's very difficult to ignore the feelings of discouragement and disappointment.
When I lament “where is God when it hurts?” I am operating from a me-centered, “God exists to serve me” mindset, as in, “why is God allowing this difficulty in my life?” God’s promise to be with me always is grounded in His Word and His character--i.e. His immutability and His faithfulness to work. In all the ups and downs of my life, He is in fact the only true steady constant. Living in a fallen world, it is unreasonable for me to expect that God will cause my life to be 100% carefree. Instead, He proves His continuous presence in the fact that my life is not 100% dreadful--i.e. to the actual point of death. I remind myself that if I am still alive and breathing, then clearly, God has not deserted me in this life. As you quoted David, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…You are with me.” Every step of the way, praise God!
I can relate, Craig. I remind myself that I walk by faith and not by sight, but I too wish for reassurances, encouragements, and signs that God is working behind the scenes. “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24). But then I realize that I wouldn’t recognize and understand what God is doing anyway, while it’s in process (“His ways are not my ways”); it must wait to be seen at its fulfillment. Alas, I expect that most of God’s work on my behalf will not be known to me until the next life. (I console myself with the realization that, wow, I will be one faithful worshiper of the Lord after I pass! But, then, won’t we all?! :)
In case you missed it, here is a relevant quote from Corrie ten Boom (which I shared at Stan’s 10/07/25 post: “When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” Knowing God is the key factor, of course.
Exactly. Especially when it seems like everything is piling up.
I intellectually, fully believe all of the above. The problem is that it sometimes isn't enough to calm the feelings of despair or disappointment.
It's also hard because it's everyone in the house experiencing similar things so it bleeds over and also don't have the same level of support.
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