Devolution

They asked "How will it affect you if we redefine marriage to include same-sex couples?" (No, they didn't, actually. While the courts were quite clear that it was a redefinition, that side of the lobby never admitted to it. Still ...) The suggestion is that we could go on being "married" our way and they could be "married" their way and it wouldn't matter. We said it would. It has.

Under Traditional Marriage, the idea is that two become one. As one it was a working together and a union and a lifelong commitment and connection. Divorce was rare because it made no sense in this version. Under Traditional Marriage, one of the primary functions was the bearing and raising of children. Under Traditional Marriage, there were always clear and obvious male and female roles, distinct and complimentary. These facts were true whether you used the secular traditional definition or the biblical definition.

They assured us that wouldn't have to change for those who didn't embrace the "new definition" (which, to the best of my knowledge, has never actually been produced). In Modern Marriage you have two individuals. If they can work together, good. If they give each other what they want or feel they need, fine. If not, end it. End it now. Terminate it with extreme prejudice -- so extreme that all around will think twice about trying marriage themselves. In Modern Marriage it is not about offspring. Purely optional, like tinted glass on your new car. No, it's about self-realization, individual autonomy, self-expression. In a "good marriage" these days you might hear, "She completes me" because she is contributing to her partner something that her partner wants. In Modern Marriage, we're no longer looking at distinct roles for husband and wife. (In Modern Marriage, we may not even have "husband" and "wife", even when the terms are used.) We have gender neutrality, where gender is believed to be irrelevant. No "fathers" or "mothers" are necessary. Just "us". If I happen to be a "father figure" or a "mother figure" is not connected to my actual gender. It's about me. Modern Marriage simply feeds the modern standard of good conduct -- narcissism.

It is irrefutable that marriage has changed ... by definition. It is also a fact that it has impacted all of modern society, traditionalists and "new marriage" advocates alike.

Procreation was always the name of the game in marriage. In the past 70 years we've tossed that aside. Decrease procreation and you eliminate the need for a father figure, patriarchy, the social power of a traditional father, male economic provision, male responsibility. Decrease procreation by normalizing contraception, sterilization, and abortion and maximizing "sex for fun" -- "if it feels good, do it." Decreasing procreation and, subsequently fathers, the union of two, and the male and female roles, and you end up in an "equality" where everyone is equal ... and no one is significant. It makes self-determination the ultimate good. It argues for "diversity" while removing the possibility (since we're all equal -- the same). Decrease the role and responsibility of fathers, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out the devastating and long term harm to society in general and children in particular.

Side effects are rampant and critical. Marriage is by definition "us" but modern marriage is now "me and you." This decreases mutual care and the effort put into Modern Marriage. By changing the focus from "us" as a couple and as a family, it diminishes fathers in their roles and authority. By edging out the role of father, it decreases respect for authority, starting first with human authority such as governments, teachers, or law enforcement and ending with (and likely ultimately aimed at) God. Sidelining fathers and maximizing self (with a particular focus on women), of course, will cause less men to have an interest in taking responsibility -- responsibility for their sexual desires, offspring, families, etc. Why would they? No one is making any demands anymore. There is a decline of the worth of marriage, the couple, the family, self-sacrifice, and society and an elevation of the importance of self -- self-realization, self-expression, self-vision, self-esteem, etc.

Truthfully, this was predicted in Scripture (2 Tim 3:1-5). Honestly, I'm not sure any society that continues by this kind of moral mandate -- "me first" -- can survive. Already we see the elimination of procreation as a primary function of marriage has produced a fertility rate that is below the replacement rate, the rate required for the continuation of the species. If "harm" is the basis for moral good, this Modern Marriage qualifies as evil. If God is the basis for moral good, this "new morality" -- essential narcissism -- is evil. The remedy, however, isn't better laws and nicer people. The remedy is repentance and faith. We who believe can call for it, but God who reigns is the only one who can bring it about. We should be working on that.