I Can Do Without the Hate

A couple of years ago I wrote about Unconditional Forgiveness in which I took the position that such a thing is a falsehood. Basically, we are commanded to forgive "as your Father in heaven", and He doesn't forgive until we repent. Of course, this leaves you with a dilemma. "Well, then," one might ask, "does that mean I get to continue to hate the person who doesn't repent?" And the clear answer there is "No!". Indeed, "continue to hate" shouldn't have been a starting point. You never should have started to hate. So the idea there is that we can withhold forgiveness in the absence of repentance, but that doesn't include permission for hatred or bitterness or any such thing. And this isn't a problem since forgiveness says, "I will pay the price in your place", not "I will feel nice toward you now." Thus, it is possible to consider the price still owed without having to be hateful or bitter over it.

I thought that made sense. I still do. But I got to thinking that this same concept may carry over elsewhere. Is it possible to disagree with someone without requiring conflict? Is it possible to, say, think that a person who claims to be a Christian and living with his girlfriend is in sin (and potentially in spiritual peril) without hating the person? I think the prevalent view is that it can't happen. As for me, I don't see why not.

The sense I get these days is that I can either agree with someone's choice(s) or I can hate them. So, if a son or a daughter, for instance, decides to announce he or she is homosexual, I can either embrace that choice or I can hate them for it. If I have, up until now, considered that a sin, it is time to either change that belief or stop loving my child. It is not possible, as far as I can see from today's perspective, to love someone while considering their life choices to be sin.

To me this is nonsense. Jesus ate with sinners. That meant that He loved them; that did not mean that He embraced their sin. Jesus did not excuse the woman "caught in adultery"--He told her "Go and sin no more." But He didn't need to condemn her. The call was always to "love your neighbor as yourself" and "repent". Paul turned the man who had his father's wife over to Satan ... "so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord." (1 Cor 5:5). I don't see why opposition to sin requires opposition to people. I do see how embracing sin is opposition to the best interests of people.

I think it is possible to not consider a debt owed as paid in full and not hate the person not paid. I don't think that not forgiving someone requires hate and bitterness. By the same token, I think it is not only possible, but commanded that we love our neighbors but that we oppose sin. I think I can be opposed to sin without the hate. Is that so hard to figure out?