The Theology of Sex

It is standard morality in today's society that sex is primarily a recreational pastime that carries no special meaning and ought to be enjoyed fully without any meddling from backward, moral prudes. "You stay out of my bedroom and I'll stay out of your church." Even among self-declared Christians there is a sense that we've been too narrow on our sexual ethics and we need to lighten up a bit. So more couples are "living together in sin" to use a euphemism from an earlier era. More self-professed believers are arguing for the morality of homosexual sex (which, by some bizarre convolutions, then becomes the basis for arguing for the redefinition of marriage -- "Well, if you don't want them to have sex outside marriage, you'd better let them get married!"). We're losing our rudder on the whole thing and losing track of where we're coming from and where we're going.

Is it right? Is our society correct? Is sex just a pleasurable process? I've seen Christians (even people I regard as genuine Christians) make such an argument. "Sex is for pleasure." If so, on what possible grounds can we argue that sex outside of marriage is sin? And, seriously, folks, what's the big deal? Why is sex an issue while we're not sounding the alarm on gossip, gluttony, or greed? Surely a bit of personal pleasure isn't that big of a deal, right? Or is it?

The Bible is not vague on its sexual ethics. Sex outside of marriage is sin. End of discussion. I've seen pretty little dances performed to try to explain how thousands of years of Bible readers from Israel through the Church all got it wrong. It's not wrong. Biblically sex is reserved for marriage and for marriage alone. That's the biblical standard and, as such, ought to be supported if only for that reason alone by followers of Christ. But is that it? Are we done? Or is there something more significant here? The question is the purpose of the sexual relationship. What does the Bible have to say?

I think we can see clearly that God intended for us to enjoy sexual relations with our spouses. It is, in fact, the only time that God tells us to be drunk.

Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love (Prov 5:18-19).

It is impossible to read that with anything less than a clear understanding that husbands are to fully and completely enjoy their wives. We read in Paul's first epistle to the church at Corinth that sex is, in fact, a right in marriage (1 Cor 7:3-4). (Some translations refer to "conjugal rights", but even the King James speaks of "due benevolence", where "due" is a key word.) Biblically, then, sex between a married man and his wife are for both mutual pleasure and giving what is due -- duty.

The other obvious intent by God for the sexual relationship is reproduction. In today's world this is sorely misrepresented and ignored. On the other hand, read about Onan (Gen 38:4-10). Onan's brother was killed by God for his evil. Judah, Onan's father, instructed Onan to "Go in to your brother's wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother." Onan went in and took the pleasure of sex, but refused the responsibility of reproduction. The Bible concludes, "And what he did was wicked in the sight of the LORD, and He put him to death also" (Gen 38:10). Now, I don't think it is defensible to suggest that every sexual encounter in a marriage should be aimed at reproduction, but clearly a primary purpose for sex in marriage is reproduction and refusing to recognize and honor this particular God-given purpose is "wicked in the sight of the Lord".

We're not done, though. The Bible doesn't leave us with just that. Paul, in warning against various sins among the Corinthians, comes to this line of thinking.

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, "The two will become one flesh."(1 Cor 6:15-16)

This puts a new spin on sex from God's perspective. Apparently there is more than mere friction going on. The original, God-given description of marriage included "they shall become one flesh" (Gen 2:24; Matt 19:4-6). The language here appears to be referring to something much more than mere metaphorical union. It's not that they're "one in mind" or "a family unit", but more. Our bodies (in the Corinthian text) can be made "members of a prostitute". Indeed, Paul describes sex with a prostitute as becoming "one body with her". And it isn't, apparently, a temporary union. So he warns with all seriousness, "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body" (1 Cor 6:18). Biblically, then, sex is more than pleasure or even duty. It is a real union of bodies.

Paul doesn't end with that. He incorporates it into the intended image.

He who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with Him (1 Cor 6:17).

Now we're talking some serious imagery. Elsewhere we learn that the marriage union is a God-given display of the union of Christ with the Church (Eph 5:25-32). Here we see that the union within marriage (sex) is a God-given image of the union of Christ to each of us. Both images are mysterious. Both are serious. Both are spiritual and both are very real.

In summary, then, we see from Scripture that sex is God's plan for married couples. He intends it for mutual pleasure, to be sure, but not merely that. Sex is for reproduction and we ignore this at our own risk. It is also intended as an actual union of two people (which, when you think about it, gets really complicated with multiple partners). It is intended as a very real representation of the union between Christ and each of us. As such, it is, again, an actual union, not mere metaphor. Neither between two humans or between Christ and His own is it ever temporary. This is why we are commanded to "let the marriage bed be undefiled" (Heb 13:4). It isn't some prudish Victorian morality. It is the Maker warning us that misuse of this gift will result in serious harm to humans. As it turns out, sex does have a theological content and does (when intended to) give glory to God. "So glorify God in your body" (1 Cor 6:20).