Enjoyment Adjustment

Happiness and joy, we are told, are two different things. According to the dictionary, happiness is the feeling of pleasure that accompanies good fortune (or luck). Joy, on the other hand, is intense or ecstatic happiness. They are, then, two "different" things, but, in common usage, only in terms of intensity. The other thing that would seem patently obvious but, for reasons not clear to me, often missed is the connection between "joy" and "enjoyment". That is, if "joy" is "intense happiness", "enjoyment" would be finding or receiving or indulging that intense happiness. I don't think I've gone too far or stated anything we don't already know. But there is a concept I want to get across that might be elusive, so I'll start small.

My wife enjoys shopping. She likes to do it. It brings her pleasure. I, on the other hand, don't. Hold up a card that says "shopping" to ask if this is one of the things I like to do and I'll say "No." So what happens when my wife says, "I'm going shopping. Will you come with me?" There are, of course, several possible reactions. The self-centered man in this case would say, "No, I don't like shopping" and be done. She gets nothing; he gets his way. The altruistic husband would say, "I don't like shopping, but I love my wife, so I will sacrifice my desire not to shop in favor of doing what pleases my wife." And we'd consider that a good thing. You know ... selfless. She gets her way; he doesn't. I would suggest another option -- an "enjoyment adjustment".

Imagine, in this third option, if "shopping" was not the issue. Imagine a husband who thinks, "What I really like to do is please my wife. What brings me the most joy is bringing my wife joy. So ... if it will bring her joy to have me go shopping with her, I can't imagine anything else I'd rather do." You see, in this scenario the husband gets to be both selfless and selfish. Because pleasing his wife is his greatest joy, then shopping with her (in this example) becomes his greatest joy not because he surrenders his desires but because it is his desire. Both win!

This can be a little obscure, I think. I mean, we tend to think in terms of surrendering what we want for another or something like that. That's the noble thing to do. But isn't it far better to actually enjoy doing what's right? It would be no sacrifice to do what pleases his wife if pleasing his wife is what pleases him, you see?

Imagine, then, that this carries over beyond husband and wife. Picture an adjustment in your perspective of enjoyment whereby your genuine pleasure comes from pleasing God. Visualize what it might be like if you actually enjoyed doing what God wanted you to do. In this case, each time you did something that satisfied God would bring you happiness. In this condition, wouldn't you find that "intense or ecstatic happiness", that ongoing state of mind that is joy, would be a given? That seems to me quite obvious. And that, in my point of view, is the process we call "sanctification" -- the move from selfish pleasures to finding genuine pleasure (despite all the false stereotypes of the "sour Christian") in doing what pleases God. In this state of being, it cannot be said that I am sacrificing anything for God because it is my greatest joy to do what God wants me to do. That's my aim.